


Dean's Angel

by 67_black_impala



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Has Powers, Dean sees ghosts, Dean-Centric, Original Character Death(s), Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-03 07:14:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 33,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6601756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/67_black_impala/pseuds/67_black_impala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has always been special, Mary just didn't know how much. Dean was little when he died for the very first time and it changed his life forever. Being a hunter can be tricky. Being a hunter who sees dead people is even trickier. Especially when you don't know why you see them and you really don't want your family to find out about your capability.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AN1:I am reposting all the chapters because thankfully lotrspnfangirl agreed to be my beta so now there aren't as many mistakes (if any) as there were in the beginning and the story no longer randomly changes POV. Nothing crucial to the storyline changes, just some POV changes, spelling and rephrasing. All mistakes that are left are mine!  
> Lotrspnfangirl is awsome and she has made this story so much better.  
> AN2: This is my first story, I'm dyslexic and english is not my first language so I'm sorry if this is horrible :p  
> I also want to thank miXIZ over at fanfiction.net too for looking over the first chapters and point out the mistakes.

Dean Winchester was born on January 24, 1979. Exactly one year later he died for the first time.

 

 

~Supernatural~

 

**January 24th, 1980**

 

For what had to be the hundredth time since Dean was born, Mary wondered what she had done to end up with the most difficult child ever born. He came screaming into this world and from the looks of things, that was all he was going to do. If Mary was lucky she and John were able to get him to sleep for a few hours at night, but he would always wake up screaming. They had tried everything the doctors and the baby books suggested to get him to stop crying, but nothing seemed to work.

 

The only times he wasn't crying was when he was sleeping or when he had exhausted himself and Mary or John were holding him.

 

After what felt like hours that night, she had finally got him to fall asleep. All she wanted to do was go to bed and sleep for a week, but knowing Dean she would get an hour, maybe two if she was lucky. When Mary checked on Dean four hours later he was still sound asleep, so she decided to start dinner before John came home from work.

 

Mary heard the front door open just as she was about to take the dinner out of the oven. A few seconds later she felt John's arm slip around her and "Honey, I’m home," was whispered in her ear.

 

"Great. Dinner is almost ready. Why don't you wash up while I go and check on Dean?"

 

The fact that Mary had been able to get a few hours of sleep and cook dinner without hearing Dean wake up should have been enough warning that something was wrong.

 

Mary was halfway up the stairs when the smell of sulfur hit her and all she could think about was protecting Dean. But when Mary finally got to the nursery everything was the way she left it; the window was closed, the toys were in the boxes, and Dean was lying in his crib.

 

Mary was just about to leave, to check on the rest of the house, when she noticed it.

 

Dean wasn't moving! Dean had always been a restless sleeper, so why wasn't her baby moving?

 

Time stopped. She must have screamed or something, and she had to have moved, because the next thing she knew John was there, asking what was wrong and taking Dean from her. She watched as John placed Dean on the floor and started CPR, repeating cycle after cycle, but nothing happened.

 

"Mary, it's not working. Call 911! NOW Mary!"

 

"No, No, Dean! Please wake up!" She bent down and took Dean from John. All she could do was look down at her baby boy laying in her arms, not moving, not breathing. She heard John get up and run out of the room.

 

_This can't be happening, I got out, why did they come after my son?_   She closed her eyes as hard as she could and prayed that this was all a nightmare.

 

"Mary, the ambulance is on--" But John stopped mid-sentence, right as he came back to the room.

 

Mary's eyes sprang open and she saw the most beautiful thing ever.

 

She watched as Dean blinked a few times, look up to meet her eyes, and a smile broke out on his face. Then he said his first word.

 

"Cas."

 

 

 

~Supernatural~

 

**November 2nd, 1982**

 

Mary watched as Dean played by himself at the daycare. Well, if you asked Dean, he was not playing by himself. Sometimes he would say he was playing with ‘Tom’, ‘Mike’, or ‘Chris’. Most of the time he was playing with his best friend, ‘Cas’.

 

Every time Mary heard that name, she couldn’t help but think about that horrible day. The day her son had _died_. 

 

No one had been able to tell them what had happened that day, how Dean died or how he’d come back. The doctors could not find anything wrong and the people from Mary's past found nothing when she asked them for help.

 

All Mary knew was that her baby had been dead one minute and then he wasn't the next. Also, he was suddenly the easiest and happiest baby in the world.

 

"Mommy, Mommy! Cas says I am going to be the best big brother ever," shouted Dean when he noticed Mary.

 

"Really? You have to tell your dad that you need a baby brother or sister then," Mary said smiling. She and John have been talking about having more kids so that Dean would get used to other children, especially since starting him in daycare hadn’t helped. He didn't talk to the other kids, only his imaginary friends.

 

"Casti-Castiel, uhh Cas, says I have to wait to see him, but that I could talk to him so he will know me when he comes!" Dean said with the biggest smile on his face while Mary helped him put his shoes on. There must have been some discussion about siblings at daycare today for Dean to be so determined about getting one. He looked so excited about getting a sibling or a least a brother. Mary didn’t know how she would break it to her son if she didn’t get pregnant soon. He was a little too young for the birds and the bees talk.  It would also be weird to explain to people why Dean was suddenly talking to his non-existing sibling.   

 

When Mary went to stand up and get his jacket, Dean jumped up and put his hands on Mary's stomach.

 

"Cas said you can be my new best friend Sammy! And we can play football together because Cas won't touch anything and we can…" Mary’s smile slipped away as she looked down at her son’s small hands on her stomach. She couldn’t help but wonder if there was something going on with her son. There had been times in the past where Dean had said something that turned out to be true, but Mary had just always looked past it since, at the time, it hadn’t been something important. Until now. Come to think of it, almost everything Dean said that Castiel had told him turned out to be true. As she looked back at the smile on Dean’s face, she tried to put on a convincing smile before taking his hands off her stomach and leading him out of the building.  

 

Later that night, after Dean had been put to bed, Mary found herself looking at a bright blue plus sign on a pregnancy test. It was then that she swore she would find out everything that she could on ‘Castiel’. 

 

It was weeks later that she kissed her son on the top of the head and told Dean that angels were watching over him for the first time.

 

 

~Supernatural~

 

**November 2nd, 1983**

 

Dean knew he was smart, Mommy was always telling him that.

 

He knew that if you touched the fire, you’d get hurt. He knew that he could not go back into the house because of the fire. He knew that Sammy wanted Mommy when he cried like that. He knew that when people go to heaven they don't come back.

 

Dean knew a lot of things. 

 

But what he didn't understand was why everybody was saying that Mommy was in heaven when she was standing right there.

 

 

~ Supernatural ~

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reposted. Since the wonderful lotrspnfangirl agreed to go over the story, we decided to change the POV for this chapter to make the story better :)

**November 9th, 1983**

 

"Dean, not another word! Do you hear me? Your mother is  _ gone _ and she is not coming back!”

 

"But she’s…"

 

Mary had never wanted to knock some sense into her husband's head more than she wanted to right then. It had been a week since the fire, and John had spent most of that time drinking, researching the supernatural, and telling Dean to stop talking about her.

 

Just because Dean could see her did not mean he understood what was happening. If anything, it made the situation ten times more confusing for him. Sure, John didn't know how special Dean was, but he was four years old for God's sake! And as far as anybody knew he had just lost his mother. To make matters worse, Dean's best friend, Cas, seemed to have abandoned him when Dean needed him the most.

 

When Mary asked Dean if she could finally meet Castiel, he replied that he hadn't seen his friend since he went to sleep the night of the fire. As if  _ that _ didn't pull up some red flags for the ex-hunter... What if something had been working with the demon and had been tricking Dean, just to get close to the family? Why else hadn't Castiel come back? Dean had called for him almost every day...

 

In John’s mind, everything that was unnatural or abnormal suddenly became bad and had to be stopped. He would tell Dean to look out for Sammy while he talked to people he had never met before about ghosts, vampires, demons and all kinds of things, while Dean listened to it all. Mary wasn't surprised when Dean started to sleep in Sam's crib after that and would wake up in the middle of the night crying. 

 

Of course she tried to help when she could by telling Dean what to do. Like when Bobby Singer told John to put salt in front of all the entrances and John only put salt at the doors. Imagine John's surprise when he woke up with salt lines in front of all the windows, salt in a circle around the beds, and Dean sleeping with the salt shaker in his hand. When John told Bobby this all he got was, "You idjit, your four-year-old is a smarter hunter than you."

 

After the fire, Mary tried to explain to Dean what had happened and that he was special. She told him that not everybody could see dead people like he could and that he would have to be her big, brave boy. Of course Dean took that as 'be a big boy’ and ‘become a communicator between the living and the dead’.

 

Again and again Dean had tried to be helpful.

 

"Dad, Mom said that Sammy was hungry…"

 

"Mom said that you should stop drinking and…"

 

"Mom said…"

 

It was too bad that John didn't see it that way and would never let Dean finish explaining how it was that he knew those things.

 

As the weeks went by, Mary saw how Dean was slowly withdrawing into himself. Every time John told him to stop talking, Dean did just that. The first time it happened, Dean didn't make a sound for two hours, the next time it was five hours, and the last time it happened Dean didn't say one word for the entire day. Just as he started talking again, John would shut him down.

 

Dean didn't talk again for six months, except for when he was alone with Mary or Sammy.

 

When they were alone, Dean would sing Sammy to sleep or read him a story. He would ask Mary how to change Sam’s diaper and how to heat his bottle. Basically, Dean would ask how to do everything a mom would do.

 

He would still answer everyone other than Mary with a shake of his head or with a look on his face that could say a thousand words, but he never said anything. He would still stay as close to his dad as he could and every time John was sad, Dean would hug him or help him in any way he could until John sent him away. But he never talked.

 

After John figured out that Dean wasn't talking (after three days of silence), he did everything to get him  _ to _ talk, to make a sound or even laugh. All alcohol and research forgotten, John would play Dean's favorite songs in the Impala and turn the radio all the way up. Before, Dean had always started to sing along, but now John only got a tiny smile. When John changed Sammy's diapers he would spray baby powder all over himself, just to try to get a little chuckle, but he got nothing. He would ask Dean about everything and anything in hopes of getting him to talk.

 

"What do you want for dinner, Dean?"

 

"What are you doing Dean?"

 

"Do you want to dress Sammy in silly clothes and take pictures?" (He was desperate, okay, and Sammy had always been Dean's favorite thing to talk about.)

 

But when a Winchester set his mind to something, it was near impossible to change it.

 

Mary tried to get Dean to talk to his dad, or anybody other than herself or Sam. She told him again and again how his dad had been hurting because he missed her so much, and that's why John got angry when people talked about her. She told him that John didn't understand how some people could see or talk to dead people, that maybe Dean shouldn't tell John that she was still there because of that.

 

Mary had other reasons for Dean not telling his dad, but telling Dean that his dad wouldn't like to have a son with unnatural abilities? Didn't sound like a good plan.

 

Recently she started telling him that his dad was sad now because Dean wouldn't talk to him.

 

If she hadn't already known John was near his breaking point, what he said next would have clued her in.

 

"Dean... is your mom still here? Can you talk to her, please? Can she tell me what to do?"

 

Mary don't know which was worse, watching John sit there with tears in his eyes, hoping to hear Dean’s voice or watching Dean sit there like he had the weight of the entire world resting on his shoulders.

 

"No Daddy, Mommy isn't here. She's in heaven," he said softly while looking right at her.

  
  
  
~ Supernatural ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Sorry for lack of Cas. He will be back. Feel free to point out all grammar errors or make any suggestions to the story.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reposted.  
> My awesome beta, lotrspnfangirl, and I decided to change the POV of this chapter to make the story better :)

**June 15th, 1984**

 

Dean talked after that. Not as much as he should have been at five, but he was talking to everybody again. Well, everyone except Mary. She knew he could still see and hear her since he would sometimes sit and watch what she was doing, curious eyes trailing after her movements. If no one was looking, he would even nod yes or no if she asked him something. But he didn't risk talking to her.

 

A few times, mostly when they were with other hunters that Dean didn't know, he would completely ignore her, would pretend like he couldn't see or hear her at all. Mary had never felt more invisible then when John was visiting Daniel Elkins. 

 

He stayed there for two months and Dean didn't even look at me once while they were there. Mary couldn’t help but be damn proud of her son. He was doing what he needed to do to survive in this world. All Elkins talked about was how if something was supernatural, you kill it - no questions asked. 

 

If Mary hadn't known better she never would have thought that Dean wasn't normal; he was that good at hiding it now. Even though she knew why Dean did it, it still hurt.

  
  
  


~Supernatural~

 

**August 4th, 1984**

 

John and the boys were staying at a motel in the middle of nowhere while John was looking for a new hunt. Dean was sitting on the sofa with Sammy and was "reading" him a story. Dean's version of the three little pigs was much funnier than what was in the book, so Sam wasn't complaining. Mary turned around to go in the kitchen to check how John was doing, but all of a sudden she found herself standing in the living room at home. In Lawrence.

 

"Hello, Mary. We need to talk," came a deep voice from behind her.

 

Mary spun around, coming face to face with a tall man dressed in a dark suit and a tan trench coat. He had dark hair and the bluest eyes she had ever seen.

 

"Who, or  _ what, _ are you? Are you a reaper? Because if you are I'm not going with you!" she said and slowly started to back away from him.

 

"My name is Castiel and I'm an angel of the lord." 

 

Mary blinked. This was the angel that was always talking to Dean when he was younger? The angel that abandoned her son when he needed a friend the most?

 

"Some angel you are. Dean needed you! He called out to you every night and you couldn't as much as come to explain to him why you left? It was a hell of a coincidence that you disappeared the night that I died, don't you think? So why would I want to talk to you?"

 

"I wanted to go to Dean, believe me. But it was forbidden. Dean was never supposed to see me in the first place. Dean was never supposed to die on his first birthday, but for some reason unknown to us, he did. I was sent to investigate what happened and to fix it. I never found out what happened. All we know is that Dean could suddenly communicate with the dead. Something, as you know, he should  _ not _ be able to do." Mary’s eyes narrowed but she could see that the angel believed everything he was saying. However, it still didn't explain everything.

 

"But after all that time of letting him see you when it was forbidden, why did you stop visiting him after the fire? Why choose then?"

 

"Because I received orders to stop. His life was progressing on the right track, even with his powers. However, now you are throwing him off track again. Dean will never become the hunter he's meant to be if he never truly loses you. We can't let you see Dean again. I am sorry Mary."

 

"What do you mean I can't see him again? He needs me. They all need me! I need to teach him about all the danger that is out there. John has no clue how to protect them from it all..."

 

"Dean will know more about all the dangers in the dark than you will ever know, Mary. But he won't learn it from you. You will not see him again."

 

"Yes, he will! I can't just walk out on him now. Dean just got better... it will ruin everything if I leave him now."

 

"Dean will become accustomed to people walking out on him, I'm afraid. That will be the reason he will do anything to keep his family close to him. Right now he believes that if people die, he can still talk to them, see them, be  _ with _ them. He doesn't try as hard to save them as he would if he believed he couldn't see them ever again. That is why you need to disappear on him, Mary. He needs to learn that dead people always go away eventually, that he has to keep them alive if he wants them to stay with him." 

 

Mary swallowed hard, shaking her head at the ‘angel’ before her. Castiel was talking as if he knew everything about Dean, knew everything that was going to happen to him in the future. 

 

"So what, I'm just supposed to go to Heaven with you then? When I know my family is in danger?" She yelled at him, her voice breaking as she stared in disbelief.

 

"No, I want you to stay here. This place is important and I need you to stay here to protect it. Maybe you can try to find out what happened to Dean in his nursery. We know what happened to Sam, but we need to know what happened to Dean as well. We searched everywhere but maybe you will see something that we didn't.” Castiel paused, his eyes trailing over the empty room before he continued, his voice soft. “This really is what is best for Dean. He will avenge you by killing the demon, Azazel. He will save hundreds of lives by doing so. But this is if, and only if, he grows up without you and becomes the hunter he's destined to be."

 

"But I never wanted them to be hunters,” Mary whispered, tears shining in her eyes. “I got out so they would never have to hunt anything." She tried to blink away the wetness, but tears rolled freely down her cheeks. She hated herself for looking weak in front of a supernatural creature--whether they were good or bad.

 

"I know you don't, but deep down you knew that it was going to happen. I want you to remember that hunter that was there when your parents died… Do you remember him?"

 

"When my pare… Yes, I remember him. His name was Dean, right? He said that he was going to kill that demon. You just need to find him and help him do it! My family doesn't need to be any part of it."

 

"That Dean is telling his little brother a story right now. A story about a wolf threatening to blow down the pigs’ houses if they don't do what he wants."

 

"But... that’s not possible!" Mary shook her head as she realized what Castiel was saying. That man couldn't be  _ her _ Dean, there was no way. He was so… so much like a hunter.

 

"I know. Wolves can't talk and even if it could, it wouldn't threaten to blow anything down. It would just use its cla-- Oh. You were talking about Dean, not the story. Dean and Sam will both become great hunters. Dean will travel back in time when he's older, trying to save you, but it wasn't meant to be. You had to die, Mary."

 

_ God, what am I supposed to do? _

 

"Mary, you have to believe that angels are watching over him and let him go. He can't let you go if you don't let go first."

  
  
  


~Supernatural~

 

**November 15th, 2005**

 

Mary spent the next few years protecting their old house in Lawrence and she didn’t see either of her sons again until years later when they walked into their ‘home’ to try and save the family that currently lived there. 

 

Castiel was right; they had become great hunters. 

  
  
  
~Supernatural~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Again I'm sorry for all mistakes if there are any :P.
> 
> This is the last we see of Mary for some time.
> 
> Next chapter will happen a few years later. Hope you like it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reposted.  
> AN: Again, "Thank you" to my wonderful beta, lotrspnfangirl. Hope you all like it. Sorry for any mistakes.

**September 1st, 1988**

 

John had dragged Dean with him on a few salt-and-burns so far, though perhaps ‘dragged’ wasn't the right word. The first and the second time, sure, but when the third time came around? Dean had begged John to take him along. He had become a great help for John during research, but Dean really came to life when he was out in the field.

 

Tonight had been the first time that his talent really saved a life.

 

Pastor Jim had called John to ask him for help with a hunt. For this particular case, over the past few years, in the first week of September, a kid would disappear from their house and then be found dead in an abandoned playground. The playground itself had been great before the deaths started happening; it had everything a playground could need. Swings, slides, a big wooden castle, monkey bars, a sandbox, and in the middle of the park there had been a beautiful garden for the moms to look at while the kids played.

 

Now everything was broken and rusted. All the flowers in the garden were long dead.

 

Pastor Jim had broken his hand on a hunt, therefore he couldn't dig up the grave, but he offered to look out for Sammy so Dean could get some more experience in the field. Everything they found pointed to the 14-year-old Jason Smith being their ghost. He’d been found dead eight years ago on the 3rd of September at the end of the slide with a wound on his head. The police found no proof of foul play, so Jason's death had been classified as an accident. A year later a girl had been found dead under the monkey bars, a gaping wound on her head.

  
  
  


~Supernatural~

 

**September 3rd, 1988**

 

Around midnight on the 3rd of September, Dean and John had dug halfway down into Jason's grave when Dean  saw someone out of the corner of his eye. His eyes widened in recognition; she was from the police record, Sarah Taylor, victim number 7, who’d been found on the playground by the sandbox.

 

"It wasn't him, you know," she said sadly, with tears glittering in her eyes before she started to walk away.

 

"Wait, what..?" John looked up, confused at Dean’s sudden comment.  _ What do I do, what do I do? _ "Umm, Dad? Are you sure this is the right one? Because I don't want to torch some kid if…"

 

"Dean, of course I'm sure. Everything points to him. He's killing kids so we have to--"

 

"But what if…" Dean trailed off, looking out over the grave and realizing she was gone. Well, he supposed it couldn't hurt to burn him, and there was always the possibility she was lying. There was nothing else he could do now anyway. Dean nodded, avoiding John’s gaze, and continued digging.

 

Digging up graves was hard enough but having to fill them back in, not even an hour later, was exhausting. On top of that, then they had to carry all their equipment back to the car. Dean knew he was going to fall asleep the moment his head touched the pillow. He snorted to himself as he hoped Sammy didn't snore or kick too much. Having to share a bed with a younger sibling sucked, no matter how you looked at it. It was even worse because Sam would wake him up the moment he woke, which would probably be around six in the freaking morning.

 

Dean was so tired, his head was ringing...  _ Wait, that isn't my head... _

 

"Dad, your phone is ringing. Who's calling you in the middle of the night?"

 

Dean looked over, watching as John looked for his phone and snapped it open as soon as he found it. He answered it without even looking at the caller ID.

 

"What?" 

 

Dean rolled his eyes.  _ Ohh Dad, no wonder people avoid calling you if you answer like that. _

 

Dean hated hearing only half of the conversation sometimes, especially as he watched his Dad get angrier and angrier and had no clue why.

 

"Jim, what do you  _ mean _ he just disappeared?" John yelled at the person on the phone.  _ Wait, did he say Jim? _ If that was Jim… that would mean that Sammy was the one missing. Sammy couldn't be missing!

 

"We lit it up more than an hour ago!” John yelled and even in the dark, Dean could see his father’s fingers were white where he gripped the phone. “Of course we salted it before we torched it. But if he JUST disappeared... then that means we got the wrong one. Damm it!"

 

Sarah hadn't been lying... It hadn't been Jason Smith. Dean shoved the door open and ran as fast as he could back to the grave, hoping she would come back. She was the only lead Dean had.

 

"Please, please, you’ve got to help me! Its got my brother. I have to…" Dean gasped as he ran through the graves and saw Sarah again.

 

"It's the gardener,” she said, voice just as sad as before. “Jason said that the gardener got angry when he took a flower out of the garden. Now he doesn't want any kids near his ‘life’s work’" Sarah said from where she was standing next to her grave.

 

Now it all made sense. All the kids that died must have gone to the playground at some point. And John… John had taken Sammy with him when he went to look at the crime scene for the first time. According to the police report, the gardener had committed suicide after the playground was closed when Jason was found.

 

_ He _ must have killed Jason, must have either felt guilty or been afraid he’d be caught and then taken his own life. After he became a ghost, he killed every kid that came near his garden.

 

Dean swallowed hard. Now he just had to find a way to tell his dad this, without him finding out that it had been Sarah who told him. Speak of the devil... Dean could hear John coming after him, breathing hard, and he could tell already that John wasn't happy.

 

"Dean, what the hell are you thinking? Your brother is in danger, we have to go!"

 

"It's the gardener! It has to be. He killed Jason. He has Sammy!" 

 

John stared at Dean like he lost his mind. Dean felt his stomach clench, the look his father gave him made him want to scream.

 

"Dean, you don't know that. The police report said he was cremated, so it can't be him. Now come on!"

  
  
  


~Supernatural~

 

John drove straight to the playground, since that was the most likely place they would find Sammy. Surprisingly, Sammy wasn't there. There were just some swings, slides, the gar… The garden! That was it! Without thinking, Dean ran to it and started tearing fistfuls of all the dead plants and stomped down on everything he could see.

 

"Dean what are you do--" John was shaking his head, looking at his son like he was crazy again. Then his eyes widened. "…LOOK OUT!"

 

Dean spun around and came face to face with the gardener (well, more like face to stomach if he were to be technical). When John raised his gun to shoot the ghost, Dean threw himself to the ground. As soon as his stomach hit the cool earth, a gunshot rang out from above him.

 

"Dean! We're burning this garden to the ground!” John shouted. “Get the gasoline out of the trunk, I will hold him back."

 

Dean charged to the Impala as another gunshot rang out and John swore from behind him. It was a flurry of movement, Dean’s heart pounding in his chest. Within a few minutes, he was throwing a book of matches on the ground and watched as the garden and gardener went up in flames. 

 

Mission accomplished.

 

Kill the ghost? Check.

 

Save the day? Not checked.

 

Shit… they still had to find Sammy and as Dean looked towards his Dad he realized they had no idea where he was. He could be anywhere.

 

Dean was walking under the chain bridge on the castle, on his way back to his dad, when he heard something. It kind of sounded like someone was snoring... No, not someone. He knew those snores! They had been keeping him awake for weeks now.  _ Sammy. _

 

"Dad! I found Sam!" he called as loud as he could. Turning back around to the structure, Dean tried to find a way up the tower of the castle.  _ Christ, this thing is falling apart. Dean didn’t know _ why it hadn't been torn down ages ago.

 

Dean couldn’t find any staircase, all possible ways up had either broken down or been ruined a long time ago… He spun around, trying hard to reign in his panic. Time for Plan B. Try to wake up Sam. Try, being the operative word. Sam slept like the dead... A house could fall apart and he would sleep through it, or a rickety old wooden play castle.

 

"Sam. Sammy!” Dean screamed as loud as he could, picking up handfuls of the wood shavings that covered the park and tossing him into the air so they rained down on the tower. “WAKE UP!”

 

"Dean?” Dean breathed out slowly as a soft voice reached his ears. “Why am I sleeping outside?" He heard just as their dad reached them.

 

Sam’s head came out of one of the windows on the tower, blinking sleep from his eyes, and Dean was glad to see that he didn't look hurt.

 

"I can't get down," Sammy said and they could hear he wasn't far from crying. Large hazel eyes flicked around as he took in how high he was.

 

"It's fine, Sammy. Dad and I will get you out," Dean called back, trying to calm him down. He glanced up at his dad and saw John was already looking for a way into the tower. Unfortunately, the only safe way out of the tower that they were able to find was the window.

 

"Dean, I'm going to have to lift you up so you can get up and help Sam out the window. Sammy, you need to step away from the window now so Dean can go through," John said while he gestured for Dean to get up on his shoulders. The window was high, at least six feet from the ground, and Dean just barely got a hold on it to pull himself up. He hauled himself through the small, square opening, and the moment his feet touched the floor he had Sammy all over him. Dean had never been so happy to see his brother before. 

 

Dean swallowed the sudden lump in his throat and hugged Sammy back tight. He didn't know what he would do if something happened to Sammy or Dad. He took a few seconds to catch his breath before helping Sam climb out the window. He clung to his brother’s arms and refused to let go of him until he was 100% sure their dad had a hold of him.

 

Save the day. Check.

 

Getting out the window himself was kind of awkward because it was so small; the moment he could, Dean jumped down only to be caught by his dad. Instead of letting go and placing Dean on the ground, John surprised his oldest son even more by hugging him. Soon after, John pulled Sam into the hug as well.

 

Before he let them go he whispered, "Don't  _ ever _ put yourself in danger like that again, you hear me?" 

  
  
  


~Supernatural~

 

Sammy fell back to sleep in the Impala on the way back, the hum of the engine a lullaby both of the Winchesters knew well,  but sleep was the farthest thing on Dean’s mind. John had been looking back at him in the rearview mirror since they’d all piled into the car.

 

"Dean, I don't know how you figured out that it was the gardener... or that the garden was what triggered him.” Dean held his breath, waiting for John to ask how Dean had known, press for Dean to explain himself. Dean’s heart was beating wildly in his chest but what came out of his Dad’s mouth was not what he had expected. “But you did good, Son."

 

Dean gasped softly then smiled as he caught his dad’s eyes. Then he leaned his head back against the seat and relaxed against Sammy, replaying his dad’s words in his head again and again. 

 

‘ _ You did good, Son.’ _

  
  
  


~Supernatural~


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reposted.  
> AN: Have I mentioned how happy I am that lotrspnfangirl agreed to beta for me? Well if I haven't, I'm super happy!!! Please go and thank her for me (and for yourself, because lets face it, this story is a lot easier to understand thanks to her.) and while you are on her site, I recommend that you read a fic or two (or all of them).

**October 21st, 1994**

 

“Dude, you're a natural. You’ve almost won all my money,” said Matt.  

“Yeah I am. Doesn’t hurt that you suck at poker,” Dean replied while he was counting his newly acquired funds.  

“Yeah, right, you keep thinking that. Next time I will beat you so bad you won’t ever be able to show your face around poker players ever again!” Matt threw back, smiling. 

 

Across the room, John was sitting at the dinner table. He wanted to go over the details of the hunt one more time. Every now and again, when Matt and Dean weren’t looking, he would stop and watch them. It felt good seeing Dean enjoying himself. God knew it didn’t happen nearly as often as it should... Having to raise the boys as hunters rarely left an opportunity for them to relax and enjoy themselves, to act their age. Well, for Dean anyway. John saw that Dean did whatever he could to make sure Sam had as normal of a childhood as possible. Like right now, for example. Sam was across town in a study group at a friend’s house, all thanks to Dean.

 

“Dean, go easy on Matt. His big ego can’t take being beaten by someone younger than he is,” called John when he saw them getting ready for a new round. 

 

“Don’t forget, that I’m hotter than he is!” Dean shot back immediately.

 

“Yeah, and  _ I’m  _ the one with the big ego,” Matt muttered, while rolling his eyes at them.

 

John chuckled and turned back to his notes. Matt was a hunter John had teamed up with a lot lately. 

 

They first meet when they were both going after the same werewolf a year ago. Matt had been there first, but John had wanted to take over since he was a more experienced hunter. Plus, he had Dean to watch his back and Matt had only himself. Long story short, Matt went after the werewolf alone and nearly got himself killed. Luckily John and Dean got there in time to save him and the three of them ended up taking down the werewolf together. 

 

John had to admit that Matt was a decent hunter. A reckless one, but good nonetheless.

 

Usually, John wouldn’t team up with other hunters, especially on an easy hunt like the one they were on. The only reason John had invited him along was Dean. Dean was connecting with someone outside the family for the first time in a very, very long time. Dean and Matt had clicked off right from the start and John had to admit that the other hunter was a good influence for both of his boys.  

 

Matt was a few years older than Dean and shared almost all of Dean’s personalities. They had the same sense of humor, humor that drove both Sam and John insane most of the time. They liked the same music, movies, and the same type of girls. Most of all, both of them loved to hunt things, loved to save people, loved to make sure that nobody experienced the things that they did.  

 

Similar to their family, Matt had become a hunter after his sister was killed by a vengeful spirit when he was seven-years-old. To say that family was important to Matt and Dean was an understatement. 

 

Soon, Matt had taken Dean under his wing and kind of looked at Dean like a younger brother. Matt now had someone to look after again. Well, two people to look after. Apparently Dean was a package deal. Wherever Dean went? Sammy went, too. Matt didn't mind all that much... As long as Dean wasn’t hurt, then Matt was happy.  

 

 ~Supernatural~

 

**October 22nd, 1994**

 

The hunt of the week was a simple one. According to the rumors, a girl had gone missing some years ago right after catching her boyfriend cheating on her. A few guys had been found dead around her old house since then, so John decided to look into it. Turned out her boyfriend killed her and hid her body somewhere on the property. They just needed to find the corpse, salt the bones, and then burn them. 

 

Four hunters, one ghost. A simple hunt. What could possibly go wrong?

 

“Matt, you take the backyard. Dean, you take the basement. Sammy, you’re with me. We need to find the corpse before any more people get hurt. We will meet back at the lobby in an hour. Oh, and boys? Don’t do anything stupid,” John warned as he walked inside the haunted house.   

“Dean, just call if you need me to save you like last time. You know what? Here take my lucky lighter, I’ve got another one,” called Matt with a smirk as he threw the lighter to Dean before he started walking around the house.   

Dean caught the Zippo easily. “Bite me, jerk! And for the record? I had it last time,” Dean answered back as he played with the lighter in his hand a little before putting it in his pocket. He turned towards the house and started jogging up the front steps.

“Whatever you need to tell yourself to get through the night!” replied Matt.   

“Boys! Get to work!” John yelled, his voice stern, from inside the house.    

 

 ~Supernatural~

 

If Dean had to describe the basement in one word, he would use disgusting. There was something sticky all over the floor, the walls showed signs of water damage, and the smell was just _ horrible. _

 

After looking in every nook and cranny in the basement for nearly an hour and not finding a single thing that was useful to them, Dean headed back upstairs.  He hoped that the others had better luck than he did.   

“The basement is clear. Please tell me you got something... I don’t want to go back down there to check if I missed anything,” said Dean as he walked up to John and Sam. Apparently they did have better luck. John was holding a simple book that looked like a girl’s diary. “Wait, Matt’s not back yet?”  

“No, he will probably be here any moment. Hopefully with something a bit more useful than this,” John muttered as he flipped through the diary.

“Matt’s usually not late, maybe we should…  _ fuck! _ ” Dean swallowed hard, his heart stopping in his chest. The fact that Matt was suddenly right in front of him could only mean one thing.   

“Dean what’s… Wait, are you crying?” Sam asked, confused when Dean cut himself off.   

“What? No! I just got something in my eye... You know how basements are. Umm, I’m going to check on Matt outside,” said Dean, tearing his eyes away from his family as he turned around to head outside, hoping that only Matt would follow him.    

“What the fuck, Dean! Care to explain?” yelled Matt the moment they were far enough from John and Sam.   

“Fuck,” Dean said sadly as he walked up to the Impala and leaned against it. “Look, I don’t know how to tell you this, but you’re…”  

 

“Dead? Yeah, I figured. How can you see me when your dad and brother can't? What did you do?” Matt knew that whatever it was that Dean did to be able to see the dead, it couldn’t be good.   

 

Dean shrugged his shoulders. “I have no idea. I just can, I’ve always been able to, and I didn’t  _ do _ anything,” Dean said defensively.

“You must have done something. Nobody just sees the dead. There is always something; curses, spells or deals. Something that will come back and bite you in the ass! If it wasn’t you personally then maybe somebody further back in your family history did something.” Matt paused, then continued angrily, “No, if that was the case than Sam should also be able to as well! So that can’t be it. And for the record? I don’t remember you talking to the other side on all the other hunts we have been on. So again, what did you do, Dean?”  

 

The wind got stronger with every word Matt said whipping leaves around them, the cool air stinging Dean’s wide eyes.   

“Maybe you should calm down, Matt, before you hurt someone. I will explain everything, alright? Just calm down,” said Dean.  Dean and Matt stared at each other for a moment, both of their stances stiff and intimidating. Dean saw the moment recognition crossed Matt's face as he realized how uneasy he was making Dean and almost immediately, his posture relaxed .

Dean watched as Matt tried to calm down enough  to let Dean explain and around them the wind started to slow down. When the weather was back to normal Matt said, “Fine, I’m calm. Now, explain.” 

Dean took a deep breath before saying, “I don’t know why I can see you. I’ve just... always been able to see dead people. I got really good at hiding it. Of course, I didn't know I was seeing dead people when I was little. I didn’t figure it out until my mom died.”  

“Your mom? You saw your mom? Is she still around? Does your dad know?” Matt couldn’t imagine what it would have been like if he had been able to see his sister after she died.   

“One question at a time, dude. First, yeah, I saw my mom after she died. Second, no.  She not around anymore. She just… disappeared one day and never came back. Third, tell my dad, are you crazy? Dad would explode and then run every single test known to hunters on me. He would never accept it… He wouldn’t stop until he cured me or..." 

 

Dean gave a small laugh, feeling emotionally exhausted as he explained his ‘ability’ for the first time. He blinked away the sudden burning in his eyes and looked towards his friend’s form, feeling his gut twist dangerously. Matt seemed to understand the sudden emotions surrounding his friend and when he opened his mouth next, it was to change to subject. 

“Okay, I believe you. Your dad will be coming out soon to check on us, so we need to move this along..."  

“Umm, yeah. Look I really am sorry. I wish there was something I could have done, man. Do you… do you know where your… where your body is?” Dean asked, a tear betraying him and tracking down his left cheek.

“I’m sorry you’re the one that has to deal with all of this. I’m in the shed out back. There is a hidden room under it, the trap door is in the back. I’m right next to what is left of the girl. I don’t really know how it happened. One minute I was getting ready to salt her, then I felt something smack the back of my head and it was lights out. Next thing I know I’m looking down at my body,” said Matt before he stopped talking and a strange look came over his face. When Matt noticed that Dean was going to ask what was wrong, he quickly interrupted him. “You need to find out what to tell your dad, Dean. He’s coming in three, two, one...” 

 

Right on cue, John and Sammy walked out of the house their voices carrying across the yard.    

“Any sign of Matt yet?” asked John when he didn’t see Matt standing with Dean.   

“Nope. Haven’t seen him. Maybe you should check out the shed in the backyard... See if you can find him? Sam and I will look around here,” Dean offered before dragging Sam away from the path that lead to the backyard, away from Matt’s body.    

“Dean, you okay? You’re acting kind of weird,” John called after them worriedly.   

“Yeah, Dad. I got a bad feeling, that's all."  

A half-hour later, John took the boys home. On the way home he kept sending Dean this odd looks in the rearview mirror that went unnoticed by Dean. 

 

After dropping the boys off, John returned to take care of everything without them.    

  
  
  


  ~Supernatural~

 

**October 23rd, 1994**

Dean sent Sam to bed as soon as they got back since it was well after midnight. He told Sam that he was going to wait up for their dad to come back. Thankfully, Sam didn’t put up too much of a fight and just went straight to bed. The truth was Dean just needed a little time to himself. At least, until Matt showed up. If Matt showed up... 

 

Matt had disappeared shortly after John went looking for him. Dean has learned a lot in all his years as a ghost whisperer. One thing was that some ghosts could go wherever they wanted, whenever they wanted. Others were stuck right where they died and had no control over when they showed up. 

 

Dean tried talking John into letting him track along back to the house. Unfortunately, telling John that he wanted to go talk to the ghost of his friend wouldn't have gone over so well, and without a valid excuse John left Dean in charge of Sam. So now, all Dean could do was wait and hope Matt came.

 

Two hours passed by and just when he was about to give up and go to bed, he heard something.

 

“Buuuhhh.”

 

“Shit man. You scared me half to death!” Dean glared at Matt who had just appeared right behind where Dean had been pacing.

 

“Sorry, I had to. It’s not every day that you can sneak up on a Winchester,” said Matt smiling before a serious look took over.

 

“Why do I get the feeling I’m not going to like that you say next?”  

“You’re not. Listen, I can’t stay long... I just came to say goodbye. I have to move on, Dean. I know you hate it when people you care about leave. I’m so, so, sorry,” Matt said quietly. He hadn’t known Dean for long, but this was one of the first things he learned about him.   

“You’re leaving? But you don’t have to leave,” said Dean in a hurry. He pulled out the Zippo Matt had given him earlier and started playing with it nervously. “My dad won’t find out you’re here. I promise. ”  

“Dean, I can’t. I’m not taking the chance that I won’t end up hurting someone. You know how vengeful spirits are born. I won’t become like that. Not after what happened to my sister. I’m really sorry, Dean.”   

“Yeah, don’t worry.” Dean shrugged, trying to act like he wasn’t effect, like he wasn’t losing another person in his life. “Dad will salt and burn you, the usual drill. A real hunter funeral, you deserve it,” said Dean and gave Matt a smile. “At least I get a chance to say goodbye. That’s more than most people. I’m going to miss you...” Great, just what Dean needed. 

 

“Can you promise me you will be careful? I’m not only talking about this talking to dead people thing. I hate to ask this but... are you going to be alright?”

 

“You know me. I’m always alright.” 

Matt stared at Dean for a moment, his expression unreadable, before he finally nodded and  moved to squeeze Dean's shoulder before they realized that he passed right through him. Then, without saying another word, he gave Dean a sad smile before disappearing into the night.

  
  
  


####   ~Supernatural~

 

“Hello again, Matt. Did you do as I asked with Dean?” asked Castiel as he walked up to Matt. 

 

“Yeah, but I still don’t get why I had to leave him right now. John hasn't even burned my body," answered Matt. For the hundredth time tonight Matt asked himself why he was trusting some 'angel'. An angel he just met and hadn’t known existed until earlier tonight.

 

One minute he had been watching Sam and Dean and the next thing he knew he was in some field where some guy in a trench coat, claiming to be an angel and Dean's friend, was suddenly standing before him. Matt didn't know which one was more unbelievable. Angels aren't supposed to be  _ real  _ and Dean didn't have many friends. Besides, Matt knew the few friends Dean had, and he has never even heard of anyone called Castiel. 

 

But there was something about this weirdo that Matt trusted. Maybe it was how Castiel talked about Dean, like he really seemed to care about Dean. He also seemed to think that Dean was going to save the world or something...

 

“Like I said before, Dean Winchester is destined for many things. It's in his best interest to move on as quickly as possible and not rely on his powers. We don't know where he got them from or how the really work. Therefore, it is best if he does not use them," Castiel reasoned, looking over the field with a blank look on his face. It was like he was seeing things that weren't even there. Castiel slowly turned his attention back to Matt and a small smile appeared on his face. “Besides, your family is waiting for you.”

  
  
  


~Supernatural~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Writers block is a bitch. I know were I want to go with the story but putting it into worlds is easier said than done. Hopefully I can post an update soon.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reposted  
> AN: Thanks you lotrspnfangirl for making this story so much better!

**November 1st, 2005**

 

By the time Dean turned 26, he had gotten a pretty good grip on his ability. Sure, there were a few exceptions. Like, for example, his first girlfriend, Emma.

 

Dean dated Emma for two weeks before he found out she was dead. 

 

He had been 13 at the time and had just moved to a new town. Dean was walking through the park when he first saw her and  _ damn _ , she was hot! There had been nothing that pointed to her being dead... Maybe if Dean hadn't been so fascinated by her, he would have noticed the looks people were giving him. To them, it looked like he was talking to himself and the fact that she had gone to a different school than he had gone to, did not help. Nobody knew her. Therefore, nobody knew she had died a few years earlier. She eventually told him the truth when he started pressuring her into meeting his dad and little brother. 

 

The two of them had been driving him crazy by making fun of him and his imaginary girlfriend. Thankfully, they stopped soon after Dean told them Emma and he had broken up. 

 

"There wasn't any future for us," was always Dean’s answer when he was asked why they broke up. Two weeks later John found a new hunt on the other side of the state so the three of them packed up and left. Emma was never spoken about again.

 

From then on, Dean did everything he could to learn how to tell ghosts from people who were alive and kicking.

 

The easiest way was to look in their eyes. Dead people had, well, dead eyes; eyes that had lost all glossiness and become colorless. All ghosts that Dean ever met had them. Well, all but one. Even years later Dean could still remember those crystal clear, blue eyes. Eyes that felt like they were looking right into your soul.

 

The second easiest way was to use the other people around him, dead or alive. If nobody even looked at a person, it was a pretty good sign that something wasn't right. It also helps that ghosts usually get kind of shocked when someone, a.k.a. Dean Winchester, looks right at them. If there was still any doubt, Dean just communicated somehow with the ghost. Whether it was a handshake or plain talking, it always got him an answer. Either the ghost confirmed it or people around him looked at him like he's crazy. 

 

Okay, to be honest, those people might be on to something... but who wasn't a little crazy nowadays? It wasn’t like Dean cared what people thought anyway. The only people that mattered were his family.

 

Dean made damn sure that John and Sammy never saw him when he was doing ‘his thing’. He lost count years ago of how many times he faked a phone call just to be able to talk to ghost near John or Sammy. Usually, Dean would tell them that some girl he had been hitting on was calling him. That always got an eye roll from Sammy. If they were between hunts, John would send him an all-knowing look but if someone looked really closely, they would see a hint of pride on John's face. However, when John was hunting, he had zero tolerance for any kind of distractions. Which meant that on hunts, Dean had to be really sneaky if he didn’t want a lecture on safety from his dad.

 

One time after THE fight--the one where Sam walked out to go to Stanford--John saw an article about a house fire, a house fire that sounded a  _ lot _ like the one Mary died in. Since they were in a middle of a hunt, John asked Dean to stay behind and finish it alone so he could go and investigate.

 

At first, Dean was a little nervous. Sure, he had been going on hunts for years and he knew he was a good hunter, no question about that. But this was the first time he was going in without backup. He felt like he was jumping from an airplane without a parachute. Not that Dean would ever do that. Or go on a plane, period. He was just fine with both feet on the ground, thank you very much.

 

Turned out, Dean hadn’t needed to worry. For the first time in a long time, he could just be himself. There was no need to sneak around, no need to explain how he found out where the body was when the only thing he had to go on was the victim's words. He used his skills to solve the case, and it had felt damn good.

 

A week later, John found an article about a haunted house where the body was never found. Dean offered to go take care of it by himself.

 

A month later, John sent Dean to take care of a werewolf. Later that month, Dean took down a poltergeist by himself. Three months later, Dean worked one job with John before splitting up again.

 

Five months later, they met up to take care of a rawhead.

 

Soon it became a routine.

 

Work a few jobs, meet up with his dad, check on Sammy. Rinse, wash and repeat. A few weeks, sometimes months, of being on his own before he met up with John for a month or so of hunts together. Then he’d drive to Stanford to silently check on Sammy, before starting to look for hunts again.

 

If Dean had been normal, he probably would have gone insane. He had grown up having Sammy around him constantly, then suddenly, Sammy was gone. Soon after, John left and Dean found himself completely alone. Well, not completely... For some reason, after he started to be on his own, there seemed to be ghost everywhere he went; at the library, the cafe house, the police station, in his hotel room. Most of them were polite and easy to hang out with, then there were ghosts like that pervert he encountered in one of his hotel rooms. Dean was just about to take a shower when this guy just showed up in his bathroom, with wide eyes and snarky comments. Needless to say, Dean didn’t take a shower until  _ after _ he salted and burned the body.

 

Despite that, Dean found himself spending more and more time with ghosts and less with the living. He would spend hours talking to someone and getting to know them, only to go out and not be able to continue talking to them in public, even though that person was still right next to him. If people saw him talking to himself... it would draw unwanted attention to him.

 

Soon, that began to take its toll on Dean. It also wasn’t easy having to go burn someone he had become friends with or to leave his friends behind, hoping that someday they could move on.

 

Dean hated it most of all when he in the middle of a conversation one minute and the next, they were gone for good. He knew that with time, most ghosts could make themselves visible to the living. For him, they were always visible. So why did they keep disappearing? Sure, some could jump from one place to the next, but if any of them popped up near Dean, he always saw them right away. Dean usually double checked later to see if any of the ghosts showed up again, but they never did. The fact that the ghosts just kept disappearing when they talked to Dean could not be a coincidence. Besides, John taught Dean never to believe in coincidences. But no matter how hard Dean looked into it, he couldn’t figure out why it kept happening.

 

Since Dean's ghost friends never seemed to stick around for long, Dean tried not to get too close to them. Instead, he became more dependent on his dad since Sam didn’t want to talk to him.

Even if he couldn’t meet up with his dad all the time, he made sure to call him every once in awhile. But even those calls started to become farther and farther apart in time. They also became shorter and shorter. 

 

Lately, most of the time when John called, it was to tell him about a hunt John needed Dean to take care off.

 

“Dean, I got a lead on the demon. I’m going to Minnesota. I need you to get here and take over the case I’m on now. We will meet up with when I’m done. Got it?”

 

“Yes, sir,” was always Dean’s answer even though Dean was exhausted and would need to drive for hours to get to where he was supposed to go.

 

Before Dean could say anything else, his dad always hung up. Then a few days later, Dean would receive a voicemail from his dad saying he couldn’t meet up with Dean but he had a new job for him.

 

Before Dean knew it, he hadn’t heard from his dad in about three weeks. Then one day he got a cryptic voicemail from his dad saying they were all in danger.

 

It was how Dean found himself in Palo Alto in the middle of the night, on top of his younger brother, grinning down at him in the darkness.

 

“Whoa! Easy, Tiger.”

  
  
  


####  ~Supernatural~

 

“Castiel, I just received reports of you not completing your assignments like you should. You are to  _ observe _ Dean Winchester. You are required to remove those spirits before they mess up the timeline too badly,” came Zachariah’s voice from behind Castiel. Castiel had just returned from watching Dean talk to his younger brother outside of Sam’s apartment. He  had hoped that none of his brothers or sisters had noticed what he was doing lately. As soon as he felt one of them coming towards him, he had removed the spirits from Dean’s side. It appeared, however, that he hadn't been fast enough. He knew his orders were to remove them before Dean saw them, but he couldn’t stand seeing Dean so lonely...

 

“I’m sorry brother. I thought maybe I could find out the reason why Dean sees them. If he has them around without his father or brother, he might point us in the right direction,” explained Castiel.

 

Castiel knew that wasn’t the main reason why he kept sending spirits to Dean. It wasn't even the reason why he kept delaying removing them from Dean’s life, either. He also knew if any of his sisters or brothers ever found out the truth, he would be punished. Worst of all, he would be banned from Dean.

 

Castiel had become very fond of Dean ever since he was sent to find out that happened all those years ago. After hearing Dean say his name for the first time, something had changed for Castiel. From that moment on, Castiel had wanted to protect Dean and make him happy.

 

Because of that, he hated the look that came over Dean’s face every time he was alone. Castiel had no idea what to make of those feelings-- Angels weren’t supposed to have feelings like his towards humans, not even humans as important as the Winchesters-- but he hated the look nonetheless. Dean was different, he didn’t even feel this strongly about his brothers or sisters. Sure, there were some he felt more for than others, like Balthazar or Anna. But nobody came close to Dean Winchester.

 

“Are you any closer to finding out what’s happening with him?” Zachariah asked, peering down at Castiel. He didn’t need to wait for Castiel to answer him. The look on Castiel’s face when he looked away from him said everything he needed to know. “I thought so. You can’t keep interfering with the reapers just so Dean can have some company. If I find out that you are doing this again, you will be punished, Castiel. If you as much as  _ point  _ a spirit in Dean’s direction again, or if you interfere and hold them back, you will surely regret the day you were given this assignment. . Do not disobey me!” Zachariah’s voice was firm and he glared at Castiel once more before taking off.

  
  


Even though Castiel knew nobody would hear him, he found himself saying the words he had begun to hate. At least he hated it when Dean said them... 

 

“Yes, Sir. It won’t happen again.”

  
  


~Supernatural~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hope you liked it. Next chapter is all ready written, I just need to grammar check it (That might take some time, but hopefully not long). Please review, it makes me really happy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Sorry for the long wait!
> 
> I finally got a beta (The awesome and wonderful lotrspnfangirl) for both of my stories, so we have been going over them and making them better. We didn't change any thing crucial to the storyline but we did some changes. The biggest change that we made, was the POV of few chapters. So, I want to thank Lotrspngirl for helping me, it really means a lot!
> 
> I have reposted all the chapters if you want to take a look at them and I hope you enjoy the new chapter.

**Chapter 7**

 

**November 15th, 2005**

 

To say that Dean was shocked when his little brother told him they needed to go back home would be an understatement. 

 

Not only was Sam telling him he needed to go back to the place where his entire life got all fucked up, he was also telling Dean that he wasn’t the only freak in the family. Dean had spent hours and hours while growing up trying to find out if he was the only one in the family with a gift, at least that what his mom used to call it. If his little brother had been having visions right under his nose all this time... then Dean was not the hunter he wanted to be. Thankfully, after some digging, Dean found out that his brother hadn’t always been a freak. Maybe this was just a temporary thing. But when were the Winchesters ever that lucky? Whether or not it was temporary, Dean was not about to tell his brother about his own abilities. Maybe it was because he was so used to hiding it all those years, or maybe he was afraid of what Sammy would say.

 

Dean also couldn’t decide which one of them got the shorter end of the stick. Sure, seeing dead people could really suck but seeing people die? That did not sound fun at all. At least Sam had a chance to stop it but for Dean, it was too little, too late to do anything.

 

One thing was for sure, Dean was not going to drive all the way to Lawrence just to talk to some ghost in their old house.  Thanks to Sammy’s new superpower they could hopefully prevent any more people from dying in that house.

 

Walking into the house Dean never stopped thinking of as ‘home’ after 22 years felt... weird. Really, really weird. In some ways, the house looked the same but for the most part, it was completely different. 

 

The structure was the same. Hell, the colors on the walls were similar! Or maybe that was just Dean’s mind playing tricks on him. The biggest difference was the furniture; that didn’t stop Dean from expecting to see  _ their  _ old furniture every time he walked around a corner or into another room. It really didn’t stop him from expecting to see his mom or dad there. It didn’t help that the whole time Dean was in the house, he felt like someone was watching him. 

 

Being back there must be really throwing him off because whenever he looked, he never saw anything out of the ordinary. Well, out of the Winchester ordinary.

 

Sam and Dean hadn’t even seen all off the first floor when it became clear that something was wrong in the house. From what the little girl that lived there said, it was very likely that it had something to do with their mom's death. Dean was almost relieved when Sam cut the tour short and told the new owner that they needed to leave. Just the thought of going back upstairs where everything happened was making him nauseous. Hell, when he saw the stairs, he could see himself running down them with Sammy in his arms.

 

After digging around in town for about an hour, Dean found himself in the Impala with Sam on their way to see a psychic. Even though Dean thought it was a long shot to go see her, he was willing to give it a try. It probably had a lot to do with what his dad wrote in his leather-bound journal, about learning the truth from her. Sam was sure she would be the real deal, why else would John write about her? Dean, on the other hand, was pretty sure she was just someone that knew about the supernatural and used it to make a living. 

 

In all his live as a hunter, he had never come across a real psychic. It was always someone that was just reading people's body language and tricking them or had some magic behind them.  Usually something bad.

 

Almost immediately after meeting Missouri, Dean came to the conclusion that he might have been wrong about her. That did not mean he would ever admit that out loud. Truth be told, she made him really nervous. Not that he would admit that either. Not only was her attitude something else, but he believed she could easily find out about his abilities and tell his brother about them. For all he knew, she could contact his dad and tell him about them, too.  

 

It didn’t take Dean long to decide to do everything in his power to keep her from finding out, even if that meant he would give her a completely wrong impression. While Sam and Missouri talked, Dean did his best to try and clear his mind and only think about the job at hand. He might have spaced out a little bit because the next thing he knew Missouri was looking at him funny as she talked. Dean realized that he had no idea what they had been talking about.

 

“…the first time Mary came here…” Missouri started in her soft, sing-song voice.

 

“Wait! Mom came here?” asked both of the boys at the same time. They sat up straight and moved to the edge of the couch when her words registered.

 

“When?” added Dean as he cursed himself for not paying better attention.

 

“More importantly,  _ why  _ did she come? I mean there is no way she could have know that would happen, right?” asked Sam.  _ Well _ , Dean thought, _ if she had it could explain Sam’s abilities. _

 

“If you boys would let me finish, you would know! Your mom came to me a few times. The first time was right after your first birthday, Dean. At first, I thought she was just in shock. I mean, it is always scary when something like that happens to your children, especially when you can’t explain it afterwards.” Missouri said, shaking her head slowly.

 

“Wait, hold on, what is supposed to have happened to me?” Dean asked, totally lost to what was going on. Thankfully, his brother seemed just as lost as he was.

 

“Well, you died on your first birthday! Even if it was just for a few minutes. You didn’t know that?” replied Missouri. At the shocked looks on the brother’s faces, her expression softened a little. “Your parents never found out what happened, at least as far as I know. Mary was convinced that something was wrong, though. She used to tell me how you completely changed after that. Before, there hadn’t been a day where you hadn’t been screaming or crying throughout most of it. You wouldn't sleep or eat. Then after your birthday, you became the easiest child in the world. Every time Mary brought you here, you would either sleep the whole time or sit somewhere smiling or laughing.”

 

Neither of the boys knew what to do with that piece of information. Dean glanced over at Sam and from the expression on his brother’s face realized that he was trying to wrap his head around the fact that his ‘indestructible big brother’ (Sam’s words, not Dean’s) had  _ died _ at the age of one.. 

 

Next to Sam, Dean was trying to progress the fact that he had died. DIED! How did he not know that? Of all the things his dad told him about,  _ this  _ he forgets to mention? Now that Dean thought about it, all those times he thought his dad was overreacting over nothing made sense... Like if Dean had fallen asleep in front of the TV and his dad came in and saw him laying there, his dad would freak out and end up shaking him awake in almost a panic. Their dad never did that with Sam. He would just let him sleep, or tell Dean to go wake up his brother.

 

The possibility that his death had something to do with his ability to see dead people crossed Dean’s mind. With one look in Missouri’s direction, he quickly put that thought away for the time being. Dean was so deep in thought he almost missed it when Missouri started talking again.

 

“I went with your mother to your house one time. Your room had a lot of energy around it. Mostly, it was the sense of death. I could  _ feel _ that someone had died there. I could almost feel something evil had been there. I just never got a good grip on it because some sense of purity was clouding it. That same sense of purity seemed to follow you around, Dean. It was just much stronger in your room. 

 

“I tried to help your mom the best I could, but I didn’t know a lot about this world back then. When I heard about the fire, I started to look into the evils in the world. That's how I found out about all the things in the dark. I had learned just enough so when your dad showed up on my doorstep I could point him in the right direction,” finished Missouri

 

“Do you know why Dad came to you?” Sam asked.

 

“I don’t think he knew that Mary used to come to me, if that what you're asking,” answered Missouri. “He knew that whatever put your mom on the ceiling wasn’t natural and at first he was hoping I would know something. Later he showed up because of Dean.”

 

_ Shit! I can’t deal with this now. Sam was never supposed to find out, _ thought Dean. When Missouri shot him a questionable look, Dean couldn’t help but hope that maybe she didn’t know about him. Maybe, just maybe, Sammy would let this go. They had more pressing matters on their hands after all.

 

“Why, what was wrong with Dean?” 

 

Dean almost huffed a laugh; he didn’t know what he had been thinking. This was Sam after all. When had he ever let anything go?

 

“Your brother wasn’t handling your mother's death very well, Sam,” answered Missouri before turning her attention back to Dean. “When your father came to me, you had completely stopped talking. Most of the time you would stay right next to your father. Occasionally, we would send you away to play by yourself so we could talk without you hearing. You would always take your brother and sit down in the safest place in the room. If we were in here, you would go in that corner…”

She pointed to the farthest corner of the room, right beside the door to the kitchen. It had given Dean an easy escape route from the room if needed--he could have easily slip into the kitchen-- but was out of the way enough so that people wouldn’t notice a boy sitting there if they entered. It also happened to be the furthest away from the large bay window.

  
  


“…where you could see everything that happened in the room and people were most likely to overlook you if they came in. I can still remember some of the things you thought about back then. Sometimes, if you had been here long, you would think about why your friend had to leave. If he had been there, you could have played with him while you waited. Most of the time you would think about why your mom couldn’t come, too. According to your father, before you stopped talking, you had insisted that you could still see your mother.”

 

_ Oh, shit. Sammy is looking at me! What do I _ … thought Dean, trying not to let the panic show on his face. Thankfully he didn’t need to come up with anything because Missouri decided to continue talking before Dean could even finish his thought. 

 

“At first, your dad and I thought you might be psychic like me. I quickly stopped thinking that after I caught you imagining your mom. I didn’t feel any energy coming from where claimed you saw her. Back when I met you with Mary, you had the wildest imagination. You could spend hours playing with you imaginary friends. Of course in your mind, they were completely real. After the fire, you stopped playing with them and started imagining your mom instead. You dad, of course, wanted to be 100% sure. I did all the tests that are supposed to show if you have any psychic abilities. You failed them all miserably,” finished Missouri with a small smile and Dean could tell she hadn’t been surprised by that at all.

 

Before his brother could start asking questions, Dean quickly asked, “Look, does any of this help us with what is going on in the house? Because we have no idea when something is going to happen over there and we can’t waste time on something that isn’t important. Like my imaginary friends from when I was little.” 

 

Dean knew that his brother would never let this totally go, but if he had something more urgent to think about Sam would at least put it aside for the time being. It would give Dean some time to figure out how to get Sam off his back.

 

Dean’s strategy seemed to have worked perfectly, as neither Missouri or Sam brought Dean’s childhood up after that. 

 

After a quick discussion, they ended up taking Missouri to the house. She went straight upstairs and into Sam's old nursery after Jenny, who lived there now, let them in. Missouri told them that the house had become a supernatural magnet after what happened to their family. Dean couldn’t help but wonder if his temporary death was a part of it or not. 

 

After Missouri told them that there were a poltergeist  _ and  _ some spirit present, Dean got more determined than ever to stop what was going on in the house. Later that day they came back with everything they needed and sent Jenny and her kids away for awhile. Having knives thrown at him in the kitchen before watching his brother almost get strangled to death by a lamp cord was not helping Dean feel comfortable at all. After a long day, battling the manifested terrors as they secured the house, it was finally over. 

 

At least that what Missouri said. Dean still felt odd... Maybe it was just being there again that made him feel like that. But then again, maybe not. Sam didn’t look convinced that this was all over either. And then, because of Sam dragging him back there, Dean found himself later that night looking at someone he hadn’t seen in years.

 

“Mom?”

 

~Supernatural~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN2: So what do you guys think? love it? hate it? Please let me know, it makes my day!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm so so sorry for keeping you waiting!! I have no good excuse for why it took so long, time just flew by and before I knew it months had passed since the last update. All I can say is that I promise it won't be so long until the next update, it should be up in the next couple of days.
> 
> I got a new beta for the story, so now I have two wonderful betas to help me, yay! I don't know what I would do without them.  
> [ Jdl71](http://jdl71.livejournal.com/) was kind enough to offer her help and support. She has been nothing but great and I'm so happy she offered to help.  
> [ Lotrspnfangirl](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lotrspnfangirl/pseuds/lotrspnfangirl) has been just as awesome as always and has added her special touch to the story, which makes it so much better.  
> So a big thank you to both of them!  
> Hope you enjoy the chapter!

**November 16th, 2005**

Seeing his mom again after all these years was confusing as hell for Dean. He had thousands of questions for her, but for the life of him, he couldn’t ask any of them. Had she been there this entire time? Why had she come back there? Why had she left without saying goodbye to him?

Dean always thought that if he saw her again, he would demand answers. But having her right in front of him now seemed to have rendered him speechless. Not to mention Sam was still there so he couldn’t ask her why she had just disappeared. At least not without raising some questions. 

“Dean.” That was all she said to him before she moved on to Sam.

She had completely disappeared on him without any explanation when he was five. He hadn’t been able to get someone else to explain why since nobody else had been able to see her, and yet now, all he gets is ‘Dean’, while Sam gets, “Sam, I’m sorry.” 

Why was she saying sorry to _Sam?_ He didn’t even remember her! 

Was she sorry about Jessica? Was that it? Because that wasn’t her fault, how could it be? She had been dead for years when Jessica died. Besides, how could she know about Jessica? If she had been at the apartment the night Jessica died, Dean was sure he would have noticed or that Jessica would have told him.

One of the things Dean was keeping from his brother was that he had talked to Jessica after she died. He had gone back to the apartment alone later that night after the police had gone to check if the demon had left any trails behind. He found her in the hallway, staring at what had most likely been a plate of cookies or something similar. For a dead chick, she was surprisingly cool and Dean had to admit that she had been perfect for his little brother. 

After explaining the family business to her, she had been shocked of course and then hurt that Sam hadn’t trusted her until understanding sank in over why he’d kept that from her. She told Dean that she didn’t blame Sam for what happened to her and Dean asked for details on exactly what had happened. She told him that she’d just finished getting ready for bed and was waiting for Sam to get home when she noticed a strange man in the room with her. She didn’t get a good look at him, so she couldn’t tell him anything distinguishing. The next thing she knew, she was on the ceiling and he’s telling her that she’s ‘in the way’. She was in the middle of telling Dean something more when suddenly she disappeared. Just out of the blue, mid-sentence.

Dean sometimes wondered what her last words would’ve been… but he’d long since realized it didn’t do well to dwell. He checked the apartment himself one last time before slipping out and heading back to the hotel they were staying at.

So… why were Mary’s last words to Sam and the first that Sam would remember be, ‘Sam, I’m sorry’? Not ‘I love you’, or ‘I’m proud of you’, or even, ‘You grew up so handsome.’ Why was she sorry?

Did it have anything to do with the visions Sam got?

Dean was still in shock from seeing his mom and before he got over that to ask her what she meant, she went up in flames. Again. Only this time, Dean feared that it was for good. Sam seemed to be sure that it was. Of course he’d gone and got Missouri just to make sure. While Dean waited for them to come back, he looked around trying to see if his mom was still there, whispering a few “Mom?” now and again. But there was nothing. His mom was gone, again.

When Sam and Missouri finally made it back, Dean couldn’t help but notice that Missouri was watching everything he did.

 

~Supernatural~

 

“I’m sick off cleaning up after you, Castiel,” Uriel seethed as he landed behind Castiel in what used to be the Winchester’s kitchen. Castiel had been standing there, savoring what was the last moment he had with his friend.

“That was your last chance, Castiel. You need to come with me back to Heaven. I don’t understand why you would disobey for some hairless ape,” said Uriel, irritated. “You were supposed to bring Mary to Heaven years ago. How you managed to hide her here is beyond me.”

Castiel whispered, “It doesn’t matter anymore,” and turned to come face to face with his brother. He wondered what consequences his actions would mean for the Winchesters. “Before you take me in, tell me, did you manage to take Mary to her Heaven?”

“Is that all you care about? Castiel, you disobeyed! They might cast you out! And for what? An ordinary human!” 

“Dean Winchester is far from ordinary, brother. Besides, it was I that asked Mary to stay in this house. She should have been in Heaven this entire time. I just want to know that she’s not being punished for my mistakes.” 

The only answer Castiel got was a deep breath, a short and a barely noticeable nod of Uriel’s head. Uriel was not one that lost his ‘cool’ easily, as Dean would probably say, but he and Castiel had been through much together. Castiel just hoped that Uriel would one day forgive him for risking everything for Dean. 

“Now, let’s go. Zachariah doesn’t like to be kept waiting,” Castiel said, content with Uriel’s answer.

“You might want to say goodbye to your human. This is probably the last you will ever see him.”

Turning back around, Castiel saw the same lost boy he had seen all those years ago when Mary had disappeared from Dean’s life. Castiel couldn’t help sending a quick prayer to his father for his human. God knows, Dean would never do it. “I’m sorry, Dean.”

The next thing Castiel knew, Uriel’s hand was on his shoulder and he was in Heaven, sitting in front off Zachariah’s desk. 

“Thank you, Uriel. Now, leave us. Castiel and I have a lot to talk about.” 

 

~Supernatural~

 

“John Winchester, I could just slap you! Why won’t you go talk to your children?” Missouri demanded, standing in the doorway with her hands on her hip and a scowl on her face.

“I want to. You have no idea how much I want to see them. But I can’t… not yet. Not until I know the truth,” answered John, all while twisting his wedding ring on his finger. 

“What exactly did you find out?” 

“Not much. I just know the thing that killed Mary has plans for Sammy. I won’t know what it’s planning but it can’t be good and I don’t want Sammy to get hurt.” 

“About that…” Missouri said slowly as she went to take a seat next to John. “Are you sure that it’s just Sam?”

“No, I know there are more people out there, that this demon is watching all twenty-two-year-olds, same as Sammy. All of them are… ‘special’,” John replied, deep in thought.

“That’s not what I meant. Don’t get me wrong, Sam has some powerful abilities. Abilities that some things are likely to be after. But I don’t think Sammy is the only one special in your family. There is something not right with Dean and I think you know it too. Every time he noticed me watching him, he would either leave the room, if he could, or start singing some song in his head. Lord, you know that boy can’t sing. That boy is hiding something and he is damn good at it, too. I just can’t wrap my head around what it is.”

“Yeah, I know. But we did every test we could think of and all of them got the same result: Normal. Nothing special.”

“A little _too_ normal, if you ask me. I think he’s playing us somehow.”

“I thought so too, but I’m telling you, I have spent the last few years looking for what could be going on with him and I found nothing. Well, nothing that had anything to do with him. The only reason I found out about the demon that killed Mary having plans for Sammy is because I was trying to figure Dean out.”

“What do you mean, John?” 

“Dean was always slightly different from other kids growing up. I know that part of it was because of the _way_ they grew up, but Sammy was never like that. Dean always seemed to know stuff, stuff that was impossible for him to know. Like, we could be determined to save someone and all of a sudden it was like he knew it was too late. 

“He got worse after Sammy left... There were times where he was alone at the hotel and when I came back I could hear him whispering. He always stopped the moment he noticed me and he would look like he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. At first I thought that he was calling Sam, so I didn’t say anything, but then I started noticing that usually his phone was nowhere near him. 

“That’s when I started sending Dean alone on hunts… so I could try to find out what was going on with him. I started looking into special abilities. I was about to give up the search. Then, around the same time Jessica died, people with abilities started popping up. At first I thought it might have something to do with Dean, but Dean didn’t fit the M.O. 

“I did some digging on those people. They’re all twenty-two, just like Sammy. I also found out that some, but not all of them, had parents that died the same way Mary had, on the same day the kid turned six-months-old. I talked to some of the parents that are still alive and some remember talking to a man with yellow eyes that helped them about ten years before the kid was born. I think those people made a deal with the demon and I think Mary did to. Why she did that? I have no idea. 

“I haven’t noticed if Sam has any of those abilities, but I’m sure Dean would tell me if something like that was happening with Sam.” John paused and looked down at his hands resting in his lap. “But then again some of the other kids got them quicker than others, so maybe Sammy hasn’t gotten his yet..”

“Why haven’t you told the boys about any of this?” asked Missouri disapprovingly.

John took a deep breath before answering, “I didn’t want to tell them until I knew for sure what was going on. I have some leads on Sammy that I need to check out but I’m no closer on what’s going on with Dean.”

“Here’s a crazy thought, have you tried asking him? This is Dean we’re talking about. He would do anything for you. You have no idea how badly I want to hit some sense into you Winchester boys. Do not make me go get my spoon!”

"Oh, believe me, I've tried. But you know me, I have never been the best at sitting down and talking about stuff. Besides, every time I try to bring it up, something happens that can't wait or Dean has some bulletproof excuse for what I'm asking him about. I really don't know what to do and now I have Sammy to worry about, too. I just hope Dean isn't somehow involved in the demon's plans as well," said John with a worried look on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All kudos and comments are LOVED. I just love hearing what all of you think about the story and it keeps me motivated to keep writing.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, an update!  
> Again, big thanks to both [ Lotrspnfangirl](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lotrspnfangirl/pseuds/lotrspnfangirl) and [ Jdl71](http://jdl71.livejournal.com/) for all the help!

**November 16th, 2005**

Castiel heard the door close behind Uriel but he didn’t dare look away from Zachariah.

“Oh Castiel, what am I supposed to do with you? I gave you clear orders and you couldn’t follow them,” Zachariah said as he got up from his chair and walked behind Castiel.

“I’m sorry broth—” said Castiel as he stood up and turned to face Zachariah.

“Sit back down! You’re gonna be sorry, mark my words! I can’t let you continue like this any more Castiel. From now on you are banned from Earth and all humans, understood?” Without waiting for an answer Zachariah continued, “You will spend the next few years in a cell I have picked out for you. The only time you will be allowed outside is for your rehabilitation, if you can call it that. I have asked Naomi to supervise your training. When she is done with you, you won’t care about your precious human, I don’t even think you will remember him.”

“NO!” yelled Castiel, forgetting for a moment who he was talking to. Zachariah did not like it when others disagreed with him or tried to tell him what to do; the only ones that could order him around were Michael or Raphael. “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again. I promise I’ll never go near Dean again, just don’t make me forget him. I spent years studying the Winchesters, I have a lot of useful information that could come in handy later if the prophecies come to pass.”

“If? Castiel, this is what I’m talking about! The Winchesters have changed you. They are called prophecies for a reason. They will happen, no _if_ about it. It’s things like this that are going to drag you down a dangerous road. Lucifer was just like this, questioning everything father said. Trust me, forgetting Dean Winchester is what is best for you.” Zachariah shook his head, disappointment clear in his eyes, before placing two fingers on Castiel’s forehead and everything went dark.

 

**July 17th, 2006**

“A vision?” asked John from where he was sitting on one of the hotel's bed.

“Yes,” answered Sam, who was sitting at the table next to the bed. His head was still hurting from having a vision earlier that day. “I saw the demon burning a woman on the ceiling.”

“And you think this is going to happen to this woman you met because…” John trailed off, waiting for his youngest to explain. He knew that Sam was special, but visions and of people dying on top of that? Those parenting books Mary had made him read when they found out she was pregnant with Dean did not cover what to do when your kids start having visions.

“Because these things happen exactly the way I see them,” answered Sam, slightly irritated. They had been going over this for way too long in his opinion and the headache did not help his mood.

Since Dean knew those two like the back of his hand, he could see that this could easily end in an another argument. Both his father and his little brother did not like wasting time on providing information they didn’t deem necessary. It was on a need to know basis as far as the Winchesters were concerned. However, they also hated not having all the information and not understand something fully.

Trying to avoid a full out argument, Dean quickly added, “It started out as nightmares. Then it started happening while he was awake,” before getting off the bed and walking to the counter behind Sam to get more coffee. What he wouldn’t give to just lie down to sleep and when he woke, this would all be over.

“Yeah. It's like the closer I get to anything to do with the demon, the stronger the visions get,” added Sam.

With a quick look at Sam, Dean knew that his brother was still hurting and wished he could do something to help him. The aspirin he gave him earlier was clearly not doing enough. He was so focused on filling his cup and worrying about Sam that it took him a moment to register it when his Dad asked him, “All right, when were you going to tell me about this?”

To Dean, the silence that followed felt like forever. His dad couldn’t be serious, could he? How was Dean supposed to tell him what was going on? Because that question, was meant for _him_ , not Sam. Dean had hardly wrapped his own head around what was going on, so he just told his dad the truth.

“We didn't know what it meant.”

“Something like this starts happening to your brother, you pick up the phone and you call me!”

With that, Dean had enough. Putting his coffee cup down with a slam, he walked towards his dad and hoped his voice wouldn’t shake like his hands. For the second time in just a few days, he stood up to his dad.

“Call you? Are you kidding me? Dad, I called you from Lawrence, all right? Sam called you when I was dying. I mean, getting you on the phone? I’ve got a better chance of winning the lottery.”

There was a beat of silence where all Dean could hear was the rapid thrum of his own pulse. He was half sure John was going to haul off and clock him. And then...

“You're right,” said John while looking at the floor, before looking back at Dean. ”Although I'm not too crazy about this new tone of yours, you're right. I'm sorry.”

Dean stared. He was pretty sure he could count the times his dad had ever said sorry on one hand, this time included.

“Now, is there anything else you boys are not telling me?”

“No, Dad. That’s all,” answered Sam.

“Actually…” said Dean uncertainly and he now had his brother's and father's undivided attention. “I might need to tell you guys something.” He had been agonizing for weeks now over whether or not he should tell his family about his little secret. He knew he hadn’t been fair to his brother about him not keeping secrets when Dean had been keeping one from him for his entire life. He glanced over at Sam looking back at him so hopeful and knew if he didn’t do it now he never would. Still, having them stare at him while he did it was not helping. “I kind of, have this… thing that I can do too.”

His brother’s reaction was completely typical of Sam. He seemed to have no idea what Dean was on about and was trying his hardest to hold back from asking questions. Sam was one of the smartest people Dean had ever known, but he could be painfully oblivious about some things. There had been times where Dean thought he had blown his cover but Sam always found some reason to dismiss it. Maybe it was the fact that Sam had been used to Dean’s odd behavior his entire life, they weren’t exactly normal after all.

His dad, on the other hand, did not seem surprised. Curious maybe, from the way he had moved to the edge of the bed and how his eyes were focused on Dean and nothing else. But not surprised.

“I see dead people, alright?” And even before his brother could open his mouth, Dean pointed a finger at Sam and added, “If you make one ‘Sixth Sense’ reference, I will hit you.”

God, it felt good getting that finally out in the open. At least it did until he noticed his father looking down, deep in thought and his brother getting worked up.

Not amused by his older brother right now, Sam said, “Dean, this is not the time to be joking aro-”

“After the fire, did you really see your mom?” John asked quietly, almost a whisper before looking back up at Dean with wet eyes.

Dean took a deep breath before answering. “Uhh, yeah, you still remember that?”

“How could I forget? I had no idea what to do. I always chalked it up to grief. It wasn’t until years later that I started questioning it, but by then you always had some excuse.”

“Wait! Are you serious? All this time? Why haven’t you said anything! I have been feeling like a freak in this family for months. _Months!_ And all this time you were just as much of a freak as I am?” Sam exploded, upset over this new information just like Dean had anticipated.

“Well, when you put it like that, I should have told you years ago,” said Dean sarcastically. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’ve been hiding it ever since Dad became a hunter. I couldn’t just suddenly stop. When we were little, I was terrified of some hunter finding out and coming after us, so Mom taught me how to hide it, and I did.”

“But why not tell me?” asked Sam, hurt. “…or us?” he added looking quickly over at their father like he suddenly remembered he was there.

“You don’t remember what it was like back then, Sam. Dad was— _we_ , were grieving Mom and having me talking about her being there all the time wasn’t helping. It was destroying him, Sammy. I just couldn’t do it anymore. So I told him for months that I couldn’t see her, even though she was right there, and it kind of stuck after that.”

At this point, John had his face buried in his hands and Dean could see the slight shaking of his shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Dean. You should never have had to do that,” came John’s more than normal raspy voice.

“Wait, have you been seeing Mom all those years? Is she here?” asked Sam and that was enough to have John look up right away. It surprised the boys to see the tear tracks down their father’s face. They boys hadn’t seen their dad cry often growing up, though Dean had seen it more often than Sam. Dean didn’t know why it surprised him though, like all the other times he had seen his dad cry, it had something to do with his mom.

“No!” The look on their faces was a clear indicator that they didn’t quite believe him. “I swear, I haven’t. She just disappeared one day, about a year after she died. I hadn’t seen her since then until we saw her at the house in Lawrence.”

Silence filled the room as everyone tried to process everything they had just learned. It wasn’t broken until Sam asked, “Can you see everyone after the die?”

“Not everyone, I can see most ghosts if they have just passed away and I can still see some ghosts that have been here for years and just haven’t moved on.”

“Did you-- did you see Jessica?”

Dean took a deep breath before looking his brother straight in the eyes. “She didn’t blame you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could have--”

“There was nothing you could have done. You were grieving and I didn’t want to get your hopes up if I couldn’t see her, so I went alone. I was going to bring you back with me later and give you at least some sort of good-bye if I saw her, but she was in the middle of telling me what happened when suddenly she wasn’t there anymore. After that, I didn’t want to burden you with what I found out. You were already blaming yourself for what happened.”

“What did you find out, Dean?” asked John, who seemed to snap back into hunter’s mode, a place he was confident and comfortable.

“She was getting ready for bed when the demon showed up,” said Dean glancing at Sam before meeting his dad’s eyes, giving information as if it were a case. Hunter-mode was safe. “ He said she was getting in the way. That’s all I know.”

“In the way of what, Dean?” asked Sam.

“I don’t know, okay! She disappeared before I could ask her about it. But Sammy, this is not your fault, alright?” Dean turned to look at Sam again and his chest hurt at the expression on his brother’s face.

“Yeah, right,” came Sam’s answer and Dean didn’t believe it for a moment.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but she really did love you, Sammy.”

All the anger seemed to leave Sam after that and after awhile he said, “I forgive you.” He leaned forward and wrapped Dean into a quick hug.

Clearing his throat, Dean sat back. “Okay, now that this chick flick moment is over. What now?” asked Dean.

“Look, abilities or no abilities, visions or not, the fact is, we know the demon is coming tonight. And this family's gonna go through the same hell we went through,” said Sam looking from his brother to his father.

“No, they're not. No one is, ever again.” John’s voice was full of conviction and Dean nodded in agreement and couldn’t bite back the small smile at their family finally being all on the same page.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked it! and as always all kudos and comments are LOVED.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. I was going to post this two weeks ago before I went to visit my relatives in Iceland but my laptop decided that it was time for the screen to stop working right before I went.  
> I still can't believe I have actually written 10 chapters for this story, in the beginning it was just supposed to be a short oneshot.  
> Huge thanks to both[ JDL71](http://jdl71.livejournal.com/) and [ Lotrspnfangirl](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lotrspnfangirl/pseuds/lotrspnfangirl) for reading this over and making it better. I don't know what I would do without them.  
> Hope you enjoy the chapter!

**July 17th, 2006**

John and Sam did not get a long time to process everything they had just learned before their usual crap caught up with them. In this case, that crap came along in the form of Meg. Her wanting the Colt could ruin everything the three of them had worked up to over the last twenty-three years. After some planning and a quick search at a nearby antique-shop for a gun that could pass as the Colt, John was on his way to meet her.

The next few hours were a living hell for Dean. He’d always been worried that if he ever told anyone about what he could do, he would never hear the end of it. Right now, sitting in the Impala beside Sam, and watching the house that the demon might show up in, he wished worrying over his secret being exposed was the biggest thing he had to deal with. However, it wasn’t even close to being the biggest trouble in his messed up life. Not only had his father gone off to meet some demon who’d just murdered two of their friends, both of which being very good hunters, but he had gone alone, without any backup. Dean himself was waiting to come face to face with the demon that had killed his mom and completely uprooted the Winchesters’ lives in the progress.

He kind of wished Sam would start asking questions about his abilities or about Jessica right about now. Hell, he wished Sam would start talking about pretty much anything as long as it would get Dean out of his own head, picturing every little thing that could go wrong…

Like the poor women burning on the ceiling, because they weren’t fast enough. Meg finding out that the Colt was fake, then torturing and killing their dad. The demon getting away and Sam trying to go after it in a desperate attempt at revenge and dying in the progress. The possibilities were endless, circling like sharks in Dean’s brain.

The thought that this could all be over after tonight felt surreal. Sure, there would always be things to hunt in the world, but it wouldn’t be up to _them_ to stop everything anymore. Sam could go back to college, Dean and John could settle down and go hunting on the weekends or something. For the first time in twenty-three years, they could have a normal, apple pie life.

Dean forced himself to try and think about this as just another hunt. They had done the research so now they just needed to wait for the demon to show up. Then they could go in guns blazing and save the day. Maybe even get some thanks from the parents for saving their family; after years of experience, Dean wasn’t holding his breath for that.

He couldn’t help being nervous, but that was a feeling Dean had gotten quite familiar throughout the year. Since at least November, Dean had felt like something was missing, something _important_. The feeling had started shortly after they left Lawrence. Maybe it had something to do with his mom but for some reason, Dean didn’t think that was it.

It was similar to the feeling people get when they suddenly start looking for their phone in a panic, except most people get an immediate sense of peace when they realize that they‘ve been holding it the entire time. Dean never gets that peaceful feeling because he doesn’t even know what it is that he’s looking for. Time and time again Dean had caught himself checking if he had everything. And it was always the same checklist;

Gun. Keys to the Impala. Amulet from Sam. His favorite Zippo, the one Matt had given him. His phone, plus his other phone. Fake FBI badge, wallet, ring. The hotel room-key. His bracelets and his jacket. He had even gone over the entire Impala, twice, to check if maybe a cassette-tape or one of the weapons were missing. But no, everything was where it was supposed to be.

For the life of him, he couldn’t figure it out _what_ was missing. Whatever it was, he felt defenseless without it. And now, he was about to go up against the thing he had spent his whole life preparing for. Defenseless. He didn’t even have the Colt, Sammy did.

Whatever was going on with Sam, the demon had something to do with it. It killed their mother in his nursery. It killed his girlfriend. It was only fair that Sam gets to kill it. Plus, it made Dean feel better to know that his baby brother had the best protection against the demon. He had all the faith in the world that Sam could take that shot when it came to it, he just hoped he would get the chance before it was too late.

So yeah, a part of Dean wished Sam would start asking questions right about now, especially after sitting in the Impala for a half hour without any talk. Another part of him, the part that was terrified that something bad would happen tonight, didn’t want to deal with anything other than the hunt right now.

“Tell me more about this seeing dead people thing you do,” said Sam all of the sudden and Dean couldn’t help but think his brother had some mind reading ability, too.

“You want to do this now? Aren’t we a little busy?” asked Dean who reached over and turned the radio that had been playing completely off.

“Just keep an eye on the house while we talk so I can write some notes down,” Sam answered as he reached for his computer from the backseat. “If my vision is correct, the demon is going to show up around quarter to nine, so we are most likely going to be here few hours and we need to talk about it sometime. Besides, it might come in handy.”

“What? How? I can’t control this any better than you can yours.” That came out harsher than Dean intended but he couldn’t help it, every fiber in him was on edge right now.

“Maybe not, but you _can_ talk to them and find stuff out, I can only see things, I can’t interact. Have you ever asked anyone of them to do stuff for you? You know, move stuff, scare people, typical ghost things?” asked Sam who now had his computer in his lap with an empty document on the screen, ready to take notes, like the good _little_ schoolboy he was. When Sam saw the raised eyebrow from Dean pointed at the computer, Sam added, “We need to know as much as we can about this, Dean. It might be important. Now tell me!”

“Fine! They mostly just... talk to me, tell me stuff that is important. Like who or _what_ killed them. Where they are buried. A few have done some _ghost things_ to help, gone and found something for me or distracted someone while I did what I needed.”

Sam’s fingers were flying all over the keyboard, writing down as much information as he could.

“So... finding stuff for you… distracting…Hey, you never got someone to distract me or Dad, did you?” Sam looked up from his computer with a look that was a mixture of annoyance and respect, kind of like when he was younger and a magician pulled a trick on him. He had been super impressed by the trick, but it would drive him crazy not knowing how it was done. Of course, Sam didn’t stop thinking about it until he figured it out.

“Well to be fair, you two were always snooping around the same things I was, so sometimes it was just easier to get them to distract you. If it makes you feel better, it was harder to trick you than Dad. He always went straight ahead to check the distraction out, then came back to finish whatever it was that we’d been doing. You, on the other hand, wanted to make sure you didn’t miss anything first.”

“Well, Dad has always been a ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ kind of guy.” Sam shrugged and typed a few words before looking back at Dean. “Moving on, can you always tell if a person is a ghost?”

“I have gotten a pretty good hang of it. Do you remember Emma, the girl I dated when I was around thirteen or something? I had no idea she was dead the entire time I dated her.”

“Emma? Wait, you mean your _imaginary_ Emma? Dad and I were sure you made her up! She was a ghost the whole time and you didn’t notice?”

“The whole frigging time. I probably should have figured it out sooner... I mean, just the fact that I never got to first base should have clued me in.”

“Gross, Dean.” Added to the look on his face, his brother was not impressed by that statement, but it quickly went away and a gleeful look took its place. “The great hunter, Dean Winchester, dating a ghost without even knowing it. Just wait till Dad finds out,” mocked Sam.

“Yeah, yeah. You don’t have to sound so happy about it. Besides, her being a ghost just meant that I didn’t have to fight any of the other boys for her. Not that I couldn’t,” he added hastily, “I just didn’t _need_ to.” Dean smiled smugly and then added with a dreamy expression, “She was smokin hot Sammy. Smokin’!”

If the eye-roll Dean got was an indication, then his little brother was not impressed by that either. Getting back to the business at hand, Sam continued with another question, “Do you see them all the time?”

“No. I remember when I was little I could see them everywhere. Of course, I didn’t know they were dead at the time. Mom and Dad just thought I had imaginary friends, but I figured out that they were ghosts later. After the fire, I could see Mom everywhere, then one day she just disappeared out of the blue.” Dean paused and licked his lower lip, waiting for Sam to finish typing. “Uh, well, after that I could see a few ghost here and there, but only for a few days. After Lawrence, I’ve hardly seen anyone, and the few I see are just there for a _very_ short time. I don’t know what it is, but it almost feels like there is something standing in the way of them staying. Blocking them.”

Next to Dean, Sam seemed to be deep in thought, analyzing every tiny detail before he started typing it all on the computer. It was becoming more and more difficult for Dean to focus on the house and not on what his brother was writing. His brother was writing _a lot._ How he could write so much just from what Dean was saying was beyond him.

“Have you ever done any research on this yourself? I mean _real_ research. I know how much you hate doing that,” asked Sam.

“No,” said Dean sarcastically, “Of course I looked into it. When I was ten I spent hours reading everything I found. Every time I got the chance, I was nose deep in some book. Dad was always leaving us alone at the hotel so I got him to sign you up for some club, Smart Science or something, to get some time alone.”

“Wait, I was the one to ask Dad to sign me up for that,” said Sam.

“Yeah, after I spent a week leaving the brochure out where you could see it and I was always talking about how good you were every time I helped you with your homework. Getting people to do what you want is in the hunter's job description after all, Sammy.” 

“It’s Sam.” Sam huffed and added what Dean referred to as Sammy’s bitchface number three. It was probably killing Sam that it had not been his idea to go to that club after all. Sam had always been extremely independent and he didn’t like when he wasn’t in the control. The fact that it was only 'bitchface number three', and not one or two, meant he was more annoyed than angry.

Sam sighed, gave another withering glare, before moving on. “Did you find anything out at least? After you tricked me into going?”

“Come on, Sam. You loved going there, just like I knew you would, and you got so much better at it! You were at the top of your class in no time,” said Dean, nudging Sam’s shoulder and trying to get him to drop the attitude. They both knew Dean would never have talked his brother into going if he hadn’t believed that he would love it. Which is why he had about hundred “discussions” with their dad, about whether or not Sam got to continue in the class or if he had to start in a new club if they moved. It had been exhausting, but so worth it every time Sam came home smiling and ready to tell Dean about _everything_ he just learned.

Sam seemed to accept that and Dean knew that Sam would forgive him in time. So he went back to the matter at hand. “All I found out was that it’s not a curse... and as far as I could see, I’m the only one in our family that can do something like this. But of course I thought you were normal up till a few months ago, so there’s that. It also would’ve helped to know that I died when I was a baby! Remind me to ask Dad about that when we met up with him.”

“You think that has something to do with this?” asked Sam, who had started typing again.

“You don’t?” Dean asked, looking over to his brother. “I mean it has to. Missouri said I changed after that, right?”

“Yeah, she said something about how you had been insufferable before you di… before _that_. Something along those lines. If you’re good now, I can’t imagine how you were before,” said Sam trying to lighten the mood but Dean couldn’t help but noticed how his brother wouldn’t say the word.

Deciding not to comment on that, Dean just said, “Hey! I’m a joy to be around!”

“Keep telling yourself that, Dean,” answered Sam who had opened up some web browser and from the little Dean could see, was searching for people that had come back from the dead. “Have you ever found anyone else that can do some of the things you do?”

“No. I have met with few that claimed to see dead people, but there was always something else going on. Cures, binding spells, or just a spirit that hadn’t moved on and everyone would be been able to see him from time to time,” Dean shrugged and with a quick look at Sam, he went back to watching the house. He was silent for a moment before he admitted, “It would be nice though. I look for them, check them out just in case. There was one guy I was hopeful about but he couldn’t do anything. He was just plain scamming people by telling them that he could talk to their dead loved ones if they emptied their wallets for him. I think he spent about an hour talking to our ‘half-brother, Adam’ or something like that, before I gave up and told him the gig was up. The guy was a complete joke. I mean, I think I would know if we had another brother.”

Sam had a small smile on his face when he said, “And if I know you correctly, which I do, you set him straight and then stole all the money back.”

“Of course! I may have also given him some graphic description of what might happen if he ever did something like that again,” explained Dean with a big smile on his face.

Growing up in this line of work had been tough. There had been times where their dad could hardly afford to put food on the table or a roof over their heads, so Dean did not like it when people used other people's misery to make a quick buck. Maybe that made him a hypocrite... after all, he got most of his money from credit card scams or hustling people, but Dean would never, _ever_ try to take money from someone who looked like he couldn’t afford it or was desperate. Hell, he had lost some games on purpose just because the person looked like he or she needed the money more than him. Being the good guys sometimes meant more than just killing the monster.

It was mostly quiet in the car while Sam did some more research, save for the sound of Sam typing on the keyboard. With a sigh, Sam gave up for the time being and put the computer back on the backseat when the clock tuned half past eight. No way were they going to risk not being ready when the demon showed up.

Over the next hour, the two of them sat and watched the house. As it got closer to go time, Sam brought up everything Dean had been worried about and somehow it was easier to reassure his brother that everything would be okay, than it was to calm himself.

The opportunity to kill the demon came and went in a blink of an eye. The house went up in flames with it.

Thankfully they had gotten the family to safety before it burned up. With the demon still inside and no confirmation he was actually gone, Dean ended up having to physically stop his brother from running back inside and getting himself killed. Sam was so blinded by rage and grief that he would have gone in there to stop the demon, to try to ensure he couldn’t escape, no matter the consequences. And that was something Dean was not willing to risk, even if he had to spend the rest of his life hunting down the demon. It was worth it, just as long as his little brother and his dad kept breathing.

Dean must have called his dad hundreds of times on the way back to the hotel, but there was no answer. He tried all of his phones, even the extra ones that he never used anymore. He even made Sam try calling from his phone, just in case his own might not be working correctly. He really wanted to ignore his father's order for the second time in a short time and go back him up. But his father had told them specifically before they split up to go back to the hotel and wait for him there.

Of course, he had also said that they were supposed to kill the demon, which did not go as planned.

The relief Dean felt when his dad's phone _finally_ picked up was short lived.

Something had gone terribly wrong and from the sounds of it, Meg had their dad. Meg had never given them a reason to doubt her following through with her threats and Dean was hard pressed to believe that this time would be any different. Besides, their dad would have found some way to contact them by now if he had just lost his phone. Despite the glee in Meg’s tone, Dean refused to believe his father was dead. He was sure that if either his dad or brother had died, he would _know_ and not because they might show to him as ghosts.

Now, their number one priority was saving their dad, but it was clear they were in over their heads. They needed the best help they could get and thankfully, the nearest hunter was just that. If Bobby didn't know how to take down a demon as tricky as Meg, nobody would.

The brothers wondered if they should call first, but they didn't want to take the chance Bobby would tell them to get lost. Bobby and their dad hadn't ended on the best of terms last time they had seen each other, the older men ended up in a huge argument over God knows what. John had told the boys to stay in the Impala after they’d come back from a hunt with Bobby, and then the two men disappeared into the house. The second the door closed behind them, Sam and Dean could hear them fighting despite the windows of the Impala being rolled up.

A short while later the door flew open and a furious John Winchester came storming out with Bobby trailing behind him with a shotgun. The Winchesters hadn't seen or heard from Bobby since then.  
  


  


~Supernatural~

  
**July 18th, 2006**

Pulling up in front of Bobby’s house after all this time felt weird, but at the same time, it felt like coming home. Not that Dean would know how that felt, he hadn’t had a home to go back to since they, he and Sammy were kids…

Dean gripped the steering wheel tight and let his mind wander for a moment to try to quell the nervous anticipation bubbling in his stomach. What would it actually mean to have a home? A family? Sure, he had Sammy and Dad, but there was no escape from them, not really. What Dean wouldn’t give for a vacation, a damn break for a weekend or hell, a week! He’d never even _been_ on one before, not really. Sure he had traveled all over the states and been to all the popular sites, but it had always been on the way to or from a hunt, never just to go somewhere and have fun.

The crunching gravel changed to dirt spinning up against the undercarriage and Dean slowed, ripping himself from his thoughts. He glanced over at Sammy, saw the same anxiety on his brother’s face and decided. After they saved their dad, Dean was going to Las Vegas on a vacation and dragging Sammy with him. Nothing was going to stop him. He had earned it, damn it!

It didn’t surprise them one bit to see Bobby walking out on his front porch with a shotgun in hand. It made them a little bit nervous, since Bobby was a damn good shot, but not surprised. They _slowly_ made their way out of the Impala and lifted up their hands to show they meant no harm.

“Well, what are you idjits waiting for?” called Bobby, like they would have gone near him while holding that gun. “Get up here!” he added as he lowered his gun and walked back inside.

The boys shared a quick look before they made their way inside after him.

“So, what have you Winchesters gotten yourself into this time?” asked Bobby when Sam closed the door behind them.

“You know us, always getting in trouble,” answered Dean as he took the room in. There was a lot more stuff than he could remember and it was _everywhere_. It was a complete chaos with stacks of books on every table, papers stuck all over every wall they could see. Dean knew from experience that there were weapons hidden around as well, they were just hidden so well that you wouldn’t find them unless you knew where to look for them. There was no doubt in Dean’s mind though that Bobby knew where he would find everything he needed and could tell if something had been moved.

Dean remembered the first time he’d come here. It was a few months after his mom died and John had come to Bobby to learn as much as he could about what was out there in the dark. Dean was sure John had met Bobby a few times before, but he hadn’t heard of him until they rolled up in front of the old house and Dad told them not to touch anything.

The place had looked a lot like it did now. Back then, most of the stacks had been higher than Dean and the boys could hardly move without knocking something over. Of course, that made it difficult for Dean since he was tasked with watching after his baby brother while the grown ups were talking. His baby brother who had recently learned how to walk, or run more like it. In true Winchester fashion, Sammy totally skipped learning to walk first and went straight from crawling to running. At least Dean liked to think all Winchesters did that.

Chasing after him and keeping the stacks from topping quickly turned into a game of hide and seek. It started with Dean trying to clean up a stack of books that Sammy had pushed over, only to turn around and notice that Sam was gone. Dean was just about to give up on looking for him and go ask his father for help when he heard another stack of books fall down and then another, almost like dominos. It went on like that for awhile, before Dean found his brother sitting on the floor looking at a knife he had just found.

With a little bit of help from the nice lady that lived there with Bobby, the one like his mommy that only Dean could see, Dean had been able to get his brother to take a nap and had managed to put all the weapons Bobby had lying around somewhere Sammy wouldn’t reach them. Dean had just started putting all the books back where they belonged when his dad and Bobby came back. His dad had not been happy to find the mess and had ordered Dean to put everything just like he had found it. Bobby, on the other hand, was just shocked. He didn’t seem to mind that his books were all over the place and refused to let Dean touch any of the weapons to put them back.

The next time they came, all the weapons were out of Dean’s reach and the books were all neatly stacked on top of surfaces that Sammy couldn’t reach. The biggest change, in Dean’s opinion, had been the new box in the corner with some toys in it.

With every visit from the Winchesters, Bobby’s place got a little cleaner, and every once in awhile a new toy or even a book or two would appear in the box. Apparently, Bobby had gone back to his old habits after losing touch with the Winchesters and Dean couldn’t help feeling responsible for that.

“What Dean is trying to say is that Dad is in trouble and we need your help,” said Sam, who was eyeing a book on Bobby’s desk, the work on the binding in Latin but easily translated, ‘daemonium’. When Bobby noticed what he was looking at, Sam added, “How much do you know about demons?”

“Ohh, balls.” Turning around, Bobby scanned the books behind him before finding the one he was looking for and pulling it out of the stack it was in before handing it to Sam. “You better take a look at this while I go find us something to drink,” Bobby said, before making his way to the kitchen.

Sam went and sat down at Bobby’s desk and after rearranging a bit on the table, he started looking through the book. The book was huge and from what Dean had seen, it was called ‘The Key of Solo-’ something-or-other. He didn’t really care as long as it could help them save their dad.

The boys learned a lot from that little visit. They learned how to exorcise a demon and they even were able to perform one after Meg showed up. Unfortunately, the poor girl the demon was possessing didn’t make it. Thankfully, she had been able to tell them where they might find their dad before she died. They also learned why John and Bobby had a falling out and a heavy blanket of silence fell over them in the aftermath of Meg’s departure.

It turned out Bobby had suspected that Dean could talk to the dead from the get go. Not much got past Bobby after all. The last hunt they had been on together had just proved him right after he witnessed Dean, in the heat of the moment thinking he was alone, had snapped at a ghost that was annoying him. Bobby tried to talk to John about it after they got back from the hunt, but of course, everything blew up in a typical John Winchester fashion.

They boys left it up to Bobby to try to explain to the paramedics what had happened to Meg. How he was going to do it, they had no idea. They climbed into the Impala after promising to keep in touch and headed for the open road. For now, they had only one thing on their minds. Get Dad back _alive._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked it. Like always all comments and kudos are loved.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait and thanks for sticking with me! I know this chapter is a bit short but at least it's something.  
> Huge thanks to everyone that has left a comment or kudos, and to both[ JDL71](http://jdl71.livejournal.com/) and [ Lotrspnfangirl](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lotrspnfangirl/pseuds/lotrspnfangirl) for fixing all my mistakes.  
> Hope you enjoy the chapter!

**July 20th, 2006**

The moment Dean woke up in the hospital, he knew that something was different. He just couldn’t quite wrap his fingers around what it was and if it was a good or a bad thing.

He remembered the fight with Yellow Eyes and sitting in the backseat of the Impala with Dad up front and Sam driving them towards the hospital. Everything after that was fuzzy… He didn’t even remember arriving at the hospital. He was certain he heard his dad and Sam arguing about something... though he hadn’t really been paying attention since his insides hurt like a bitch after whatever it was that the demon had done to him. The pain suddenly became intense, excruciating, right before everything went black.

The next thing he knew, he was waking up in the hospital bed.

Whatever the demon had done, it couldn’t have been good. He didn’t need the doctors to tell him it would most likely take a long time for it to heal fully. The funny thing was, Dean couldn’t feel any of his injuries anymore. Either the hospital had him on some super effective pain medication or he had been at the hospital long enough for them to heal. He kind of hoped for the latter since that meant he was through the worst part and wouldn’t have to stay there for long. But that would also mean that he had been out of commission for some time which must have had his dad and brother worried sick.

Speaking of those two... where the hell were they? Surely one of them could have stayed with him so he wouldn’t have to wake up alone in a hospital bed. Both of them knew how Dean felt about hospitals. Hell, the last time he had been in one he had been dying. So, where were they?

His dad had never been one to let one little bullet hole stop him, so if Dean had been here long enough for his injuries to heal then John should be mobile by now. At least with the help of some crutches or something like that.

He looked around the room, looking for some sort of clue as to what had happened. Maybe they’d gotten into some kind of accident on the way over here... That would explain why he remembered everything hurting so much more all of the sudden. It could also explain why his father and brother were nowhere to be seen -- maybe they’d gotten hurt and were somewhere else in the hospital.

Since it looked like nobody was on their way to check on him anytime soon, Dean carefully got out of bed, taking a quick stock of himself to make sure he wasn’t missing any injuries, and made his way out to the hallway. The uneasy feeling grew when he was met with … nothing.

Call him crazy, but Dean was pretty sure that hospitals were usually crawling with people. Not to mention, with the sheer amount of people on their death beds and crossing over, he should’ve at least seen the dead...

He made his way down the hallway and eventually found a woman sitting at a nurse’s station. The only problem was, she couldn’t see him. There weren't too many reasons Dean could come up with about why she couldn’t she him. Since he’d woken up in a hospital, it made two theories more likely than the others: either he was dead or close to it.

He made his way back to the room he had woken up in. Even with all the weird stuff he had come across as a hunter, seeing himself lying on a hospital bed was definitely in his top five.

It didn’t take him long to figure out that he was in deep shit, with a reaper on his ass, again. As it turned out, he hadn’t walked away from the encounter with Yellow Eyes in tip-top condition and being hit by a frigging truck hadn’t helped any. So, now he was as close to death as he could possibly be, without being dead.

It turned out he wasn’t the only one in this shitty situation and he was more than grateful to meet a nice young woman, named Tessa, who was in the same ol’ boat as he was.

On the bright side, his father and brother were mostly alright. Fighting again, but alive at least. For the most part, Sam could be found sitting at Dean’s body’s side, a stone statue fueled by late night caffeine and anxiety, waiting for him to wake up. Dean ached to talk to him, to let his little brother know he was alright. Thankfully, his brother wouldn’t be Sam Winchester if he hadn’t put to two and two together and figured out what was going on with Dean. Hell, he even came up with a way for them to communicate. This would be so much easier if he and Sam had each other's abilities because then he wouldn’t have fought tooth and nail to get Sam to realize he was there and he probably wouldn’t have had to sit on the floor in his hospital room to talk to him through a spirit board.

The moment he read the entry on reapers in his dad’s journal, everything fell into place and he knew exactly who was after him. Tessa, the woman who was pretending to be dying just like him. It didn’t take him long to track her down; she had obviously been waiting for him to put this all together and come after her.

“Hi, Dean.”

“You know, you read the most interesting things. For example, did you know that reapers can alter human perception? I sure didn’t,” Dean recited calmly as he walked into the room. “Basically they can make themselves appear however they want. Like, say, uh, a pretty girl. You are much prettier than the last reaper I met.”

“I was wondering when you would figure it out,” said Tessa. “You know, they talk about you all the time. The hunter with the ability to see dead people. The man who has cheated death twice already. The boy who died and yet no reaper was sent to collect.“

“You forgot to mention my incredible good looks,” quipped Dean to cut her off. All this talk was making him sound a little too much like Harry Potter for his liking. Dean was really glad that Sam hadn’t been around for this.

“That just doesn’t happen Dean, ever!” replied Tessa, completely unfazed. “Sometimes when people die a violent death we can’t reach them before we can help them pass, but we still try to collect.”

“Okay, you lost me. Who are ‘they’ and what do you mean ‘that doesn’t happen’?” asked Dean, anxious to finally get some answers about what was going on with him. He just hoped it wouldn’t be too late. Maybe if he kept her busy, Sammy could pull through and save him.

“Who isn’t talking about you Winchesters these days. You are practically celebrities in the Supernatural world.” That didn’t really answer Dean’s question and Dean got the feeling that she wouldn’t tell him even if he asked again. “How much do you know about reapers, Dean?”

“Not much,” answered Dean honestly. “I know they can’t be killed and I know from personal experience that they can take and give life.”

“That’s not exactly true. We can trade deaths under special circumstances, but we don’t do that unless we are forced to. We can’t change the natural order of things without consequences. Since everyone is free to make their own choices, people have some say in when and how they die. As reapers, we don’t always know exactly when that will be or when we will get the message they’ve passed.

“Every person is assigned to a reaper before birth and that reaper is informed of when it might be time to collect. And lucky me,” Tessa explained with a grin that made it clear she didn’t think she was lucky at all, “I got assigned to you. Do you have any idea how much trouble being your reaper has been? They took me off duty for weeks after your first birthday just because I didn’t get the feeling you might die and therefore didn’t show up. I had to answer questions, after questions about why I hadn’t been there or if I had any idea _why_ you died. After that, you have been like a constant warning bell in my head. Dean might die, Dean might die, Dean might die. You’ve almost died more often than anyone I know!”

Dean blinked, shocked at the sudden outburst. “Well, I never asked to be assigned to you!” He paused and eyed her before laying on the Winchester Charm -- Dad would’ve been proud. “I can make this easy for both of us, Tessa. What do you say about me letting you off the hook and we go our separate ways? You can go reap someone else and I’ll go back to hunting monsters!”

“Sorry, I can’t do that. No one is asked or given choice with their assignment, Dean, and we are stuck with each other,” said Tessa, before a small smile came on her face. “It wasn’t all bad. You have lived an interesting life and I have gotten to see you do some remarkable things, Dean. The stuff of heroes! But it’s time to let go now.”

“No, I can’t,” Dean replied firmly. “My family needs me!” He was not going to give up. His dad and Sam would pull through soon and get him out of this situation. They always did and he knew they weren’t about to let him down now. “People need me. I mean we have vampires and demons on the loose now.”

“Did you know _you_ are the reason your family hadn’t encountered demons in nearly twenty-two years?” asked Tessa. “They could feel a strange but powerful energy around you, so they stayed clear. But now… Now it’s gone. You’re fair play and trust me, there are a lot of demons out there that would love to take down a Winchester. Especially you, Dean. The demons, they are just as interested as you are about your abilities.”

“Yeah? You seem to know an awful lot about them. Care to share with the rest of us?” asked Dean as he walked around her.

“Believe me. We have tried to find out what is going on with you, but we are just as lost as you are. You were never supposed to have any abilities, Dean. So in fact, you have been able to save a lot more people than you were originally supposed to. You have done your share. Let someone else take over. It's your time to go, Dean. You're living on borrowed time already.”

 

 

~Supernatural~

 

 

“So you said a reaper was after me?” Dean asked Sam when the doctor finally left after giving them the test results. After being put through every single test the doctors could think of, Dean was given a clean bill of health. He was still banged up, but nothing more than usual. How he went from being moments away from dying to pretty much fine, was a mystery that they had no idea how to solve.

“Yeah,” answered Sam. Sam had spent every moment they’d managed to get alone since Dean woke up trying to fill him in about everything that had happened.

“How'd I ditch it?” asked Dean.

“You got me,” Sam said and shrugged. “Dean, you really don't remember anything?”

“No. Except there is this pit in my stomach. Sam, something's wrong.”

 

 

~Supernatural~

 

 

Dean hated it when his gut feeling turned out to be right.

He was still trying to wrap his head around what his dad had just told him when Sam came running into his room. Dean could tell that something was horribly wrong even before Sam opened his mouth and said, “Something is wrong with Dad.”

Dean could also tell the moment his dad died. He didn’t need to hear the doctor say, “Okay, that's it, everybody. I'll call it. Time of death: 10:41 am.” All he needed was to see his dad standing on the other side of the room.

“I’m sorry, Dean,” and with that, his dad flickered away.

 

 

~Supernatural~

 

 

**July 27th, 2006**

“We have a problem, sir,” said Samandriel with a hint of nervousness as he walked into Zachariah’s office.

“What is it now, Samandriel?” asked Zachariah with an irritated sigh, not really listening as he went back to looking over the newest progress report he’d just received from Naomi. His desk was covered in reports that had to do with Castiel, both recent reports from Naomi and old reports Castiel had written himself about Dean. The rehabilitation on Castiel had been a lot more difficult than they had imagined, but they had finally succeeded a few months ago.

All traces of the Winchester had been removed from Castiel’s memory.

They even had to go so far as to erase the prophecy about the Winchesters being Michael's and Lucifer’s vessels. As far as Castiel was concerned, the Winchesters didn’t even exist. So why was Castiel questioning things? He should be back to being the perfect soldier… should be following orders without even blinking an eye. He should be a robot, perfectly conditioned for--

“--won’t end up in Hell.”

Having only grasped the end of what Samandriel said, Zachariah’s head snapped up from the papers in front of him. “What? Repeat that again! All of it!” he ordered at Samandriel, furiously.

“The researchers don’t think things will play out as they should, even the prophet is seeing things differently. If they are correct, then Dean Winchester won’t end up in Hell,” repeated Samandriel in a hurry.

Zachariah slammed his hands onto the desk before rounding it, storming over to the lesser angel with such fury that the stool he’d been sitting on crashed to the floor. “How is that possible? Everything is going according to plan, just like it should be!” he said as he stopped inches away from Samandriel.

“No-not quite. Even with our best efforts to stop it, Dean was still able to see his dad before John’s soul went to hell. Which means he will most likely do the same with Sam, except Sam won’t be dragged to hell seconds after his death. The researchers don’t think Dean will go through with the deal if Sam is still there. If anyone can talk Dean out of making that deal, it’s Sam,” explained Samandriel.

“Well don’t just stand there, figure out a way to fix this. Now!” ordered Zachariah before turning back towards his desk. Out of the corner of his eyes he noticed his hand resting on top of Castiel’s report about the first time Dean died.

_‘I’m not about to let Dean Winchester ruin everything I’ve worked for,’_ he thought as he clenched his fist around the paper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked it. Like always all comments and kudos are loved.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the wait and thanks for sticking with me! This chapter is a little on the shorter side, but at least it's something, right?
> 
> Huge thanks to everybody that left comments. Both [ JDL71](http://jdl71.livejournal.com/) and [ Lotrspnfangirl](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lotrspnfangirl/pseuds/lotrspnfangirl) deserve so much credit for making this better. Don't know what I would do without them. Hope you enjoy the chapter!

# Chapter 12

**April 15th, 2008**

“So everything is going according to plan?” asked Zachariah as he observed the Winchester brothers. He’d been doing that more frequently lately. Ever since he took Castiel off the Winchester case, he’d had angel’s observing the Winchesters and running interference when ever Dean came across a soul that hadn’t moved on. For the last year, the only ghosts Dean had come across were the ones that other people noticed too. With all that was going on in his life, Dean seemed to have decided to worry about it later and instead, focused on everything that was going on in Sam’s life. Right now, the two brothers were busy going over all the information they had gathered so far on The Yellow Eyed Demon and all of his special children.

Every wall in the cramped hotel room was covered in newspaper clippings, notes scribbed on napkins and post-its, and photos. They’d pulled out every single thing that they’d been able to gather from their father ever since John learned the truth about what really happened to his wife.

Right now, Sam was nose deep in a book about demons while his brother was standing in front of the wall that had been dedicated to everything they knew about the demon. It wasn’t as crowded as the other walls -- this one holding mostly weather reports, other demonic signs, and random notes here and there. The wall probably had more notes with questions on them then actual facts. In some cases the paper notes just had big, red question marks on them. Zachariah couldn’t help but think, considering who they were tracking, they surprisingly had a lot of info. Azazel had always been good at covering his tracks.

Zachariah hated to admit it, but John Winchester had taught his sons well. Sam was phenomenal when it came to research and Dean could find patterns in pretty much anything if he set his mind to it.

Every once in a while, Dean’s eyes would glance over to the wall next to him where all the information they had on Azazel’s special children were, including Sam much to Dean’s annoyance.

He understood why Sam had insisted that he was up there, but Dean didn’t like it one bit. Ever since Dean confessed to Sam what their dad had told him, Sam had been convinced he could be evil. Their encounter with the Croatoan virus had not helped in the slightest at convincing him otherwise. Having his face up on that wall seemed to convince Sam even more that he was right. Dean thought it was kind of funny how none of the other children were destined to ‘become evil’ as Sam put it, all the others had a choice in the matter. Why Sam was determined to believe he wasn’t the same was beyond Dean.

The Demon’s wall wasn’t the only part of the room Dean didn’t like. Directly behind him was the wall with all the information about people that had died in the crossfire, including Jessica, their mom, and now their dad.

Dean hadn’t really gone near that wall other than when they created it and Sam handed him a stack of information about Jessica, telling him to hang it up. The only other time he’d gone near it was when he noticed that Sam was shying away from putting the most crucial information up on that wall. Dean hadn’t wasted any time before he wrote, ‘Demon Deal -- Sold his soul and the Colt’ in big letters and put it smack in the middle of the information they had about their dad.

“Which plan are you refer—” started Samandriel before quickly swallowing his words as he caught sight of the look on the other angel’s face. “Yes, sir. Everything is going as it should according to the new plan. We have found a way to distract Dean so he won’t make it in time to see Sam die and we’ve already arranged for Jessica to met up with Sam’s spirit to take him away. That way, Sam won’t be there to talk Dean out of making the deal. If we’re lucky, Dean pulling Sam away from Jessica might add more tension between the two of them so they will say ‘yes’ ahead of schedule.”

“Excellent. And plan B?” asked Zachariah as he looked back over to the Winchesters.

“If Jessica fails to distract Sam,” Samandriel started, his tone making it clear he didn’t think too highly about what plan B was, “we will have a team ready to take Dean before he reaches Sam. They will do everything in their power to fix whatever it is that makes Dean see the deceased,” he finished and Zachariah didn’t care what the other angel thought about the plan.

There was a moment of silence before Samandriel added, “But brother, you know how risky that plan is. We have no guarantee this will be successful since we don’t even know how his abilities work. We could break him beyond repair and make him useless to Michael! He may not be righteous enough after that to break the seal.”

“It’s a risk we have to take. If worse comes to worst, we will figure it out afterwards. For now, all that matters is that the first seal is broken and Dean Winchester is our best bet,” Zachariah said before dismissing Samandriel.

Alone, he looked over the older Winchester. A month from now, Dean Winchester would be rotting in Hell if everything continued to go according to plan. Zachariah was just about to leave when he noticed Sam looking up from his book, glancing between his brother and the wall with all the children with powers, deep in thought.

“I know I’m good looking and all, but do you have to keep staring at me?” asked Dean after feeling his brothers eyes on him for some time.

“Keep telling yourself that, Dean,” Sam shot back before taking a deep breath and lowering his voice, almost like he was talking to a scared animal. “Hey, Dean? Have you ever wondered where you fit into all of this?”

Zachariah had a feeling he knew where Sam was going with his question, but his fellow angels had never been able to connect Azazel to Dean directly. How was an insignificant little human going to figure something out that Heaven couldn’t?

Though, maybe it wouldn’t be worst thing in the universe if Sam Winchester could figure it out for them. Then Zachariah would finally have the answers to the questions that had been bugging him for the majority of Dean’s life.

“Where I fit --? What the hell are you talking about?” asked Dean, eyes snapping up to lock with his brother’s.

Zachariah wasn’t sure if Dean really was this clueless or if faking ignorance was really one of his strongest coping mechanisms. It was in times like this that Zachariah regretted cleansing Castiel’s mind of everything related to the Winchesters. After years of studying and watching over Dean, Castiel had been able to read Dean like an open book and knew exactly what was going on in that over-inflated head of his.

“Your ability to see dead people,” Sam shrugged as if it were obvious, “I mean, it can’t be a coincidence that you have powers too and you said your abilities haven’t been working quite like they used to. Didn’t that start around the time I got my powers?”

“Maybe your powers are just messing up mine. Apparently we’re only allotted a certain amount of awesomeness in the family at the same time, and being the awesome big brother I am, I decided to let you have a go. Aren’t I a good big brother?” said Dean with a fake smile before getting serious again. “Besides, I don’t fit the pattern. I’m four years older and I’ve had them for as long as I can remember. Yours seem connected to the demon somehow. Besides, there were no electrical storms in the area on my sixth month birthday. And before you ask, there weren’t any on the night I died either. I checked. Twice.”

“Well… maybe the demon found out how you got your abilities and used that on the rest of us!”

_That is a interesting theory._ thought Zachariah. As far as he knew, it was something that had never been considered. The angels knew what Azazel did to Sam. After all, three years after Dean’s death, the angels still had had the Winchester under 24/7 surveillance to try to figure out what was going on with Dean. But if Azazel had learned that giving children demon blood gave them special abilities from what happened to Dean, then that would raise an even bigger question: Who gave Dean demon blood? And better yet, why?

“Wait!” Dean demanded, shocked. His mouth gaped open a few times before he burst out, “So you’re saying this is all my fault?”

Realizing how that must have come across to his brother, Sam quickly tried to find another possibility. “No, no! That’s not what I meant! Maybe… I mean, maybe you were a test run?”

“And what? He came back to test you because my _powers_ turned out so great?” Dean scoffed, voice dripping in sarcasm. “Lately I can’t even get them to work long enough to talk to the people I really want to!”

Zachariah didn’t need to be a genius to know who Dean was talking about. He turned his focus to the youngest Winchester, unnaturally eager to hear more of his theory.

Ignoring what his brother said, Sam thought aloud, “Maybe that’s why the demon agreed to make the deal to keep you alive—”

Before Sam could say anything else Dean cut him off, “ _Or_ maybe it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with Dad being a bigger threat then I am. Or maybe the demon just really wanted the Colt. Hell, we don’t even know for sure that Dad made a deal with _the_ demon in the first place.”

“Why can’t you at least consider that possibility before you throw it aside?” asked Sam.

“Because!” said Dean, before closing his eyes and talking a deep breath. “Because that would mean that Dad got screwed over in that deal way more than we originally thought. That would mean that the demon got _everything >/i> he wanted and all Dad got was a one way ticket to Hell.”_

“Dean,” started Sam, but before he got any further Dean cut him off again.

“You know what, I’m going to get something to eat. Want something?”

Before Sam could even answer, Dean grabbed the keys to the Impala and was out the door.

For the second time since he flew into the Winchester’s motel room, Zachariah regretted wiping Castiel’s memory. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by him that Dean didn’t mention what it might mean for himself if he really was one of Azazel’s children, just what it meant for their father. He didn’t know if that said more about Dean’s tendency to hide his feelings or his innate depreciation of his self worth, but Zachariah had the feeling it was the latter.

As Zachariah flew away, he couldn’t help but think that Hell wouldn’t have too much of a problem breaking their righteous man. He was pretty much broken already.

~Supernatural~

**May 15th, 2008**

Time slows down significantly when you die, at least that’s what it felt like to Sam. He remembers the moment the knife slid its way into his back, remembers it sliding in easy as if his tissue, sinew and bone were butter, but he doesn’t remember feeling it. He knew there were millions of scientific explanations for why it didn’t hurt, but as far as he was concerned there was only one reason why he didn’t feel it. Dean.

He wasn’t sure he would even have noticed the knife if it hadn’t been for the panicked look on Dean’s face. With all the ups and downs in their lives, he’d never seen it that bad before. He knew he must be hurt really bad for Dean to look like that. But even with that panicked look Sam never doubted that Dean would find a way to make it all better. Which was probably why it threw him when he found himself back at Stanford with Jessica standing right in front of him.

“Jessica?” asked Sam as he slowly moved closer to where she was standing.

“Hey, Sam. I missed you,” Jessica said with that big smile he loved so much.

“How— What’s going on?”

“I think you know, baby. It’s time to let go now and we can start enjoying eternity together.” She smiled at him softly, tears shining in her eyes, love displayed clear on her face. “Your mom is here somewhere. She wanted to come greet you, but only one of us could be here,” Jessica explained.

“So I’m dead?” asked Sam looking down at himself. After all he had done, could this really be it? It all felt so surreal.

“Yeah, baby. I am sorry,” said Jessica as she brought her hand to his face and brought him in for a kiss. God, he missed kissing her. “But on the bright side, now you can be with me. All you have to do is let go and take my hand.”

Sam felt his fingers twitch, but before he could lift his hand, he heard a voice calling his name.

_”SAM! Wake up, come on man, don’t do his to me. Please.”_

Sam could pick out the sound of his big brother’s voice anywhere. But where was it coming from? If it had been anyone else, it would have been really difficult to look away from Jessica after all this time, but this was his brother. He took a look around, trying to find out were Dean’s voice had come from. He wasn’t able to pinpoint it and as far as he could tell, he was the only one that could hear Dean.

It wasn’t hard to figure out that where ever he and Jessica were, it probably wasn’t corporeal and chances were that his body was still where Jake had stabbed him. And if Sam knew his brother correctly, and he did, Dean still hadn’t left his side. Turning back to Jessica, Sam said, “I— I can’t. Not yet. I have to go talk to my brother first. He’s all alone.”

“He’s not, Sam! Your friend Bobby is with him.” Jessica shook her head, reaching for Sam’s arm. “Don’t worry, Bobby will take care of your brother.”

Almost like she was trying to prove her point, Sam heard Bobby’s voice next. _”Dean, lets go son. It’s too late. There is nothing you can do.”_

It made Sam feel better to know that Bobby was with Dean but… Sam really wanted to go see him at least one last time.

_No, Bobby. There’s still time. I don’t see Sam anywhere, so he is _not_ dead. We just need to stitch him up and, and—.”_ That did it for Sam, no matter what anyone said he was going to see his brother one more time or die trying. Okay, maybe it was too late for that, but that didn’t make Sam any less determined to get to his brother.

_”Okay. Let’s just get him to your car and we can figure out where to go from there.”_

“It’s not the same, Jess,” Sam whispered, closing his eyes to avoid the look of disappointment on Jess’ face. “Family is the most important thing in the world to Dean. He’s still a mess after losing Dad, and not being able to talk to him after his death messed him up even more. I can’t do that to him.”

“I understand, but you don’t need to go right now. Time moves differently here. At least stay with me for a little while?” asked Jessica with the same look she always wore when she wanted something, the same look Sam had never been able to resist.

Something told him he should go be with Dean but he couldn’t leave Jessica after missing her for so long. If time really did move differently, then he wouldn’t be away from Dean too long. Besides, Dean knew how much he missed Jessica. He would understand.

It could’ve just been this place but Sam felt totally at peace and having Jessica with him made him happier then he had been in a very, very long time. Soon it was like they’d never been apart at all. They had found the spot they’d met for the first time and Sam started telling her everything that had happened to him over the last two years.

Sam had gotten so worked up in filling Jessica in that he forgot what was really happening until he heard Dean’s voice again.

_”You know, when we were little— and you couldn't been more than five— you just started asking questions. ‘How come we didn't have a mom? Why do we always have to move around? Where'd Dad go when he takes off for days at a time?’ I remember I begged you, ‘Quit asking, Sammy. Man, you don't want to know.’”_

Sam remembered that time; it had driven him crazy when Dean didn’t answer him. He used to think it was just Dean trying to keep things a secret because he was the baby of the family. Of course, when Sam finally got Dean to talk, Dean explained and was as honest as he could be. _‘Sometimes bad things happen to good people and they can’t be with us anymore. But Mom would be super proud of you, Sammy. We move so much because Dad has to help people, he helps them all over the country. Now stop asking, please.’_

He’d never really thought about what it had been like for Dean.Thinking back to that time, Sam knew it had been extremely hard for Dean to answer those questions. Their mom’s death had always been a hard topic for Dean and besides, no nine year-old should’ve had to explain to their siblings why they don’t have a mother.

_“I just wanted you to be a kid... Just for a little while longer. I always tried to protect you, to keep you safe... Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job... I had one job… and I screwed it up. I blew it. And for that, I'm sorry.”_

Dean paused, a strangled sound escaping and Sam’s heart clenched as he realized Dean was crying.

_”I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down... and now I guess I'm just supposed to let you down, too.”_

If Sam hadn’t been dead already it would have killed him to hear his brother say that. He’d always hated how much responsibility Dean had growing up, and even though Dean didn’t blame John, Sam did. John should have taken some of the responsibilities off of Dean’s shoulders, but instead he just added to them. What hurt Sam the most was that Dean thought he’d let Sam down. Nothing could be further from the truth. If anything, it was the other way around.

_“How can I? How am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do? Sammy. God. What am I supposed to do? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!”_ Sam suddenly got the feeling his brother was about to do something really, really stupid if he didn’t stop him.

“Jess, I have to go to Dean right now.”

“Sam, you can’t go talk to him,” said Jessica softly. When she saw that Sam was about to object, she added, “Sam, I’m telling you, you can’t go talk to him. It doesn’t work like that.”

“I know that, but Dean’s special. You know that, you talked to him after you died!”

“Sam, you aren’t hearing me. You _can’t_. They won’t allow it.”

“They won’t— Who won’t allow it and why?” asked Sam, rising to his full height. He’d never done that before with Jessica, but she knew something and was trying to keep it from him. As much as he loved her, he was not about to let her keep him away from Dean, not after everything Dean had done for him.

“Look Sam. I’m sorry but—” started Jessica but Sam interrupted her right away.

“Why can’t I see my brother?”

“I don’t know. I just know he needs to do something and you can’t get in the way. It really is better this way. Trust me, Sam.”

“No. My brother is about to do something stupid, I can feel it! And I’m going to stop him. Goodbye, Jess.”

Somehow it didn’t surprise him to find his brother standing in the middle of a crossroad holding a box with everything he needed to summon a crossroad demon.

“Dean! Stop!”

“Sammy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of Castiel. I promise he will be back at some point!"  
> Kudos and comments are appreciated as always.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to everybody that has left comments and kudos, it means the world to me.  
> I want to thank [ JDL71](http://jdl71.livejournal.com/) for helping me write this chapter. She ended up writing the last part of this chapter that I then added to or changed so she deserves a lot of credit for this chapter. And like usual, she and [ Lotrspnfangirl](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lotrspnfangirl/pseuds/lotrspnfangirl) went over the chapter and fixed all my mistakes and added their magical touches to it. They’re awesome! I don’t know what I would do without them.  
> Hope you enjoy the chapter!

**Chapter 13 ******

**May 15th, 2008**

Walking away from Jessica had been incredible hard, but Sam knew in his heart that it was the right decision. Getting over losing Jessica had been an extremely long and hard road, but with Dean’s help he’d made it through his sorrow. He wasn’t sure Dean would make it if he lost another family member, the _last_ living family member, so soon after losing Dad. Dean had _always_ been dependent on having his family members around.

Sam wanted to stay with Jessica in whatever place that had been, but he’d spent the last two years without her so, as much as it pained him to even think about it, Jessica would have to wait. His big brother needed him.

 

~Supernatural~

 

Never in a million years would Dean have imagined himself to be the last standing Winchester. It had always, _always_ been Sam who Dean had pictured surviving the longest. Sammy didn’t just run into danger, guns blazing, like Dean did. Sam would stop and figure out the best way to eliminate the danger without anyone getting hurt. If only he hadn’t gone and asked Sam for help looking for their dad, then Sam probably would have lived a long, happy, _safe_ life with Jessica and then died of old age after having children, maybe even a few grandchildren. He wouldn’t be lying dead in a cabin in the middle of nowhere.

Sam had been Dean’s responsibility since Sam was six months old. No, scratch that, he had been Dean’s responsibility before he was even born.

John had told them countless stories of how Dean had started taking extra care of their mom even before they knew she was pregnant. How he would run around the house to get things for her and wouldn’t let her lift anything that was slightly heavy, at least to him. John had put a stop to that after “the flour incident” where Dean had insisted on carrying the flour bag, that was almost the same size as him, inside the house. As anyone can imagine, falling down with a bag of flour can get quite messy. His parents thought it was hilarious and ended up taking dozens of photos of him covered in white. John and Dean had to clean it all up; Mary was going to help but Dean wouldn’t let her, much to John’s annoyance and Mary’s amusement. To save himself from future cleanups, John ended up taking Dean’s job as the “carrier of all things heavy”.

Dean couldn’t help but wonder if their dad hadn’t made the deal with the demon, would Sam still be alive? Their dad would never have let anything like this happen to Sammy. He wouldn’t have to trade his soul for Sammy’s because John would’ve gotten there in time to stop all of this from happening. He never should have traded his soul for Dean’s... Sam should be the one that was alive, not him.

_‘I’ll fix this,’_ thought Dean as he put one of his fake ID-cards in the box he was holding. He hadn’t wanted to put one of the few photographs of himself in the box; there weren’t that many photos of him out there since the photos of his few first years all went up in flames and John hadn’t been much for Kodak moments after the fire. Sam was going to want to keep the few good ones they had after Dean’s time was up, and Dean was going to make sure to capture the next ten years even if it killed him.

_‘I’ll probably get myself killed within a month with him dead. This way, I’ll get ten years and Sam can go back to his apple pie life and be happy. I shouldn’t even be alive. Sam— Sammy will understand, eventually.’_

“Dean! Stop!”

Never in his life had Dean turned around so fast. “Sammy?”

It was a strange feeling, being overjoyed to see someone but at the same time completely devastated. His brother was standing right there, and yet he wasn’t. Not really. It only seemed to bring home the fact that his brother really was dead.

“You don’t want to do this, Dean. We will find another way. Okay?” Sam pleaded as he walked cautiously toward his brother as if he were a scared animal that would bolt at any sign of danger. “Just put the box away.”

Looking down at the box in his hands, Dean felt completely torn. He’d tried to think of every possible way to bring his brother back and this really was the best way, the only way. He _had_ to fix this. He knew Sam wouldn’t see it that way at first, but… someday he would.

“Sam, I have to do this. I can’t do this alone, you know I can’t. But you? Sammy, you don’t even need to keep hunting! You can go back to school, meet a nice girl, settle down and have a chance at a real life. I can spend my last ten years helping people and if I need help, you’ll just be a phone call away,” said Dean. His grip on the box tightened as he brought it closer to himself, holding onto it as a lifeline. “It’s a good plan. I don’t mind knowing I’ll only have ten years to live... At least having you alive is better than me just trying to survive in this life by myself.”

“Dean, you have just as much to live for as I do!” replied Sam with a heavy sigh, sick and tired of trying to getting his brother to understand that. “I can’t go back to school, it’s too late for that now. Lets just take a moment and think this through, okay? Together, just you and me.”

“Yeah, lets just go to the nearest dinner and I’ll have a piece of pie by myself while we talk,” Dean scoffed, voice dripping of sarcasm. “We don’t _have_ a moment, Sam. You could disappear at any time.”

“I know that, believe me,” answered Sam, while taking a look around. “Someone really doesn’t want me talking to you right now.”

Dean had not been expecting that and he found his hand reaching towards his belt where he kept his gun, eyes darting around them as well. “What? _Who_? And why?”

“I don’t know,” said Sam as he moved closer.

That answer didn’t sit well with Dean at all. He really hated being in the dark and not knowing what he was up against. It didn’t really surprise him when his brother moved in so close they were practically touching, he knew perfectly well what it felt like to not have anything to defend yourself with when you didn’t feel a hundred percent safe. His whole life, every time Sam had felt uneasy, he would get as close as he could to his brother. Trusting Dean to keep him safe even when their dad was just as close.

“All I know is that someone was trying to distract me while you went and made a deal,” Sam added with a shrug, their shoulders brushing now.

“Huh, is that why it took you so long to show up?” asked Dean. Maybe that was why his powers had been acting weird lately... He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d seen the same ghost for more than a day, unlike when he was younger and could be stuck with the same ghost for months at a time. But that did raise some questions; who was getting in the way of ghosts getting to him, and more importantly, why?

“Yes, but let’s focus on the task at hand,” said Sam, drawing Dean’s attention back to him. “Like you said, we don’t have a lot of time. Besides, I know yellow eyes was planning something and whatever it is, it can’t be good. We need to hurry if we want to stop him.”

“What do you suggest we do?” asked Dean as let his hand with the box fall down his side. “I can’t stop him alone, Sam. I can’t.”

“You don’t have to. Maybe we can try capturing the Crossroads demon and make her bring me back?” suggested Sam hesitantly, clearly uncomfortable with how unconfident he was in his plan.

“You want to blackmail a demon? Really Sam?” asked Dean with a raised eyebrow. “That’s your big plan, lawyer-boy?”

“No, just... _talk_ her into it,” said Sam thinking aloud before continuing with more confidence, “I mean there’s got to be some kind of rule set they have to follow. We just need to find a loophole.”

“You took Demon Deals 101 in college and forgot to tell me?” asked Dean as he walked back towards the trunk of the Impala and put the box down on the top of her trunk. “Because they aren’t just gonna hand you the rule book and let you read it.”

“We’ll figure it out, we always do. If we just capture her in a devil’s trap, then maybe we will get lucky and she will let something slip!” said Sam, following him.

“When are we ever that lucky, Sam?” Dean sighed as he gestured towards Sam. He glared at his brother, then asked slowly, “Wait you said someone was trying to keep you from stopping me from making this deal?”

“Yeah, apparently it was important enough that they sent Jessica to distract me,” said Sam with a pained expression.

“Jessica? You’re sure it was her and not, like, some delusion or something?” asked Dean.

“It was her. I know it was,” Sam replied. “There’s no doubt in my mind that it was really her.”

“So, what? You went to Heaven or something before you gave me a visit?”

“I don’t know, Dean. It felt really peaceful, like I always imagined Heaven would be. It was the happiest I have felt in a long time,” Sam said softly, so lost in thought that he didn’t notice the hurt look on his brother’s face.

_’He was happy. Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this after all...’_ thought Dean as he listened to his brother talk.

Sam looked at Dean just in time to see the lingering expression on his face before he could mask it. “Dean, where are you going with this?” he asked, trying to get Dean to stop thinking about whatever it was that he had been thinking about.

“Somehow I don’t think Hell is behind sending you to _Heaven_ , so who would want me to make that deal and keep you away from all of that?” asked Dean, a part of him secretly glad his brother had stopped talking about how happy he’d been. Maybe that made him a terrible person, but while Sam had been having the time of this life, no irony there, Dean had been having the absolute worst day of his, and he’d had plenty of shitty days. Watching his brother bleed out and not being able to do anything about it had been excruciating -- this one definitely topped them all.

It had hurt when his parents died, but it was nothing like what losing Sam felt like. Dean wasn’t even sure he would have been able to move at all if it hadn’t been for Bobby being there.

Dean wanted his brother to be happy, he really did, but couldn’t that wait a couple of years? It wasn’t like Jessica was going anywhere. Sam could live his life, and then when the time, came he could be reunited with Jessica.

“I don’t know, but I have a feeling they don’t have our best interests in mind and I can’t help thinking that it had more to do with you selling your soul then me being alive. We can’t let them get what they want without knowing what _it_ is,” Sam reasoned and Dean could tell that he was deeply troubled by it.

By closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Dean tried to get all his thoughts in order. Dean knew that Sam must’ve been really worried to turn his back on Jessica to come to him, and if Dean were to be honest, that scared him. If Sam was worried enough that he would leave the love of his life just because he thought there was something after Dean? That couldn’t mean anything good.

“Okay, so what do we do? Just let you stay dead? Let you go live your afterlife with Jess? What am I supposed to do then, Sam? Go after the demon myself? Go live some apple pie life? You know I can’t live like that!”

“No. We will--” Sam closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. “We could kill the demon, right after you make the deal. That way they can’t come to collect.”

“And if that doesn’t work?”

“Then we will have ten years to figure something else out! We can try to find out whatever, or whoever, is behind this, what they want, and put a stop to it. It’s the best bet we’ve got. I _won’t_ let you die, Dean.”

 

~Supernatural~

 

It had taken some time, but they finally had a plan. It wasn’t a good one, but it was a plan nonetheless. Dean was extremely grateful to have his brother watching his back as he put the box in the ground. That being said... maybe Sam didn’t need to be as close as he was. Maybe Dean was just imagining it, but he could feel Sam’s breath on the back of his neck the entire time. Maybe it was just the wind playing tricks on him, but he pushed the thought away as he dug a hole and placed the box inside, summoning the demon to him so he could barter his life away.

“Hello, boys.”

Turning around Dean came face to face with the unexpected. A man. Dean had to admit, he hadn’t considered anyone other than a chick showing up, and definitely not some demon dick in a suit. The demon in question was shorter than Dean, by a good three inches or so, but carried himself as if he were larger-than-life. He reminded Dean of a mob boss, from classic movies he’d watched with Sam in old motel rooms growing up. Someone that didn’t _look_ all that dangerous, but when the time came to prove himself, any adversary would be powerless against him and destroyed with a simple snap of his fingers.

The fact that the demon knew about Sam being there just made it a hundred times worse.

The demon raked his smarmy eyes over Dean’s body, sending something uneasy swirling through his stomach. Dean found himself stumbling back, nearly tripping over the upturned earth where his box was buried in his haste to put some distance between them.

His uneasiness only made the demon smile and Dean swallowed hard, straightening his shoulders and standing as tall as he could.

“Boys? Sorry to disappoint you, but it’s just me here,” said Dean with as much confidence as he could muster, fighting the urge to look over at Sam to see what he thought about this situation.

“Nice try, Dean Winchester. I might not be able to see your brother, but I’m willing to bet that he’s floating around here somewhere. Am I wrong?” asked the demon, and it was pissing Dean off how much this guy seemed to know. He and Sam were slowly losing control of the situation.

Well, there went their ace up their sleeve, but Dean wasn’t going to admit that anytime soon. He cocked his head, giving the demon a sarcastic once over and asking, “Am I supposed to know you from somewhere? Because you seem to know me and my brother.”

“We haven’t had the _pleasure_ of meeting face to face yet, but when I heard that one of the famous Winchesters wanted to make a deal, I just had to come see for myself.”

Dean really hated when the _people_ he was up against knew more about him then he knew about them. “Yeah, about that... You’re sure as hell not who I expected to show up, so who the hell are you?”

“What? I’m not your type? I’m hurt, really. And I had just pictured all the fun we could have had together,” mocked the demon as he ran his eyes up and down Dean’s body. Dean had to fight the urge to cover himself up. “Name’s Crowley, King of the Crossroads.”

“Seriously? I get _The King_? Is that even a thing?” asked Dean, not buying that for a second.

“It is, and I take my job very seriously. Which is why I had to come see it for myself when I heard that the man that sees souls wanted to sell his.”

“What does the fact that I can see dead people have to do with this?” asked Dean. He really was doing a horrible job hiding that little fact, somehow it seemed like everybody knew about him these days. But no point in denying it now… maybe they could use this to their advantage.

“You have no idea how extraordinary that ability is, do you? A human soul is one of the most powerful things in this world, and somehow you have the ability to see them in their most purest form. Not many can do that. So, I’ve got to wonder, what else can you do?” surmised Crowley. He stared at Dean as if he could see all of Dean’s deepest, darkest secrets by looking hard enough, like Dean was some kind a toy and Crowley was just dying to tear him apart to see what made him tick.

“Dean, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” said Sam as he came to stand beside his brother. Up until that moment, Dean had totally forgotten that he was the only one that could see Sam. And even though it was kind of pointless, he had been trying to keep Sam hidden as long as he could.

Crowley watched as Dean turned to his left, listening to someone speaking to him. A cold smile spread across Crowley’s lips as his assumption became reality; Sam’s ghost was there next to Dean.

“Ahh, so I was right,” said Crowley with a smug smile. “Dean, your brother can’t help you, but I can.”

“Dean, this is really, really bad,” Sam hissed and Dean already knew that, but what else could he do? It couldn’t hurt to listen to what the guy had to say… At least he hoped it wouldn’t.

“Can you bring him back?”

Crowley gave Dean a sly smile, looked him over again and purred, “I’m the King of the Crossroads, darling. Of course I can bring him back.” Crowley paused and smirked before adding, “I could even bring him back as a girl, if that’s what you want.”

Looking over at his brother, Dean noticed how Sam’s whole body had stiffened. “Don’t even think about it, Dean!”

Before Dean could open his mouth to reassure Samy, Crowley was speaking again. “I can do that and so much more for you, if you want.” The demon’s smile widened to the point where it was more teeth than actual lips. “All you have to do is sign a contract.”

With a wave of his hand, Crowley produced a weathered looking scroll and offered it to Dean.

“You can’t sign that!” said Sam in a hurry. “I’m willing to bet my life on it that there is something in there that will screw us over.”

Dean hesitated, trying to think over what was being offered to him. _Sam._ Crowley could bring Sam back from the dead. Sam leaned in closer, reading over the contract in Dean’s hands, trying to get as much information as he could.

“Dean this doesn’t look right. There is nothing in there about you getting ten years.”

Why did it not surprise him that a demon would try to trick him? Dean narrowed his eyes at Crowley, and shook the contract slightly at the demon. “How about we talk terms?”

Crowley looked at him in mock surprise. “Dean, it’s like you don’t trust me! I thought we had something special.”

Dean scoffed at him. “Trust you? You’re a demon. You lie just to have something to do to pass the time,” Dean shot back.

“You would be surprised by how often we don’t lie, Dean. Why lie when the truth hurts so, _so_ much more.”

“Is that supposed to make me trust you?” asked Dean.

“Like I said, I don’t lie. You get what you want and I get what I want, all according to the agreement. So, tell me Dean, what do you want? What will make you sign your soul over to me?” Crowley asked as he stepped forward, crowding into Dean’s space.

“You’ll bring Sam back from the dead in exchange for my soul? Ten years is standard, isn’t it? I get ten years to live out my life and then you get my soul?” Dean clarified, eyeing Crowley with doubt.

“Dean,” Sam whispered to him, “are you sure about this? We can find another way.”

“I can bring your brother back, as good as new.” Crowley looked at Dean, saw him wavering in his decision. “Sign and Sam will be standing next to you in a matter of moments in the flesh instead of hovering as a spirit. But, you will only get one year, _and_ you will owe me a favor. Which, of course, I will only have one year to collect, so you might get lucky and never see my face again.”

"One year? What happened to ten years like everyone else gets?" asked Dean. He knew he should be more worried about that ‘favor’ -- agreeing to something without knowing what it encompassed was never a good idea, but he had bigger worries on his hands. One year was nowhere near the ten years he’d counted on. His time would be up before he knew it and they would have no time to get him out of the deal.

"Not everyone else has been killing my employees,” spat Crowley, displeasure at the Winchester brothers clear. It almost, _almost_ made Dean back out of the whole deal. “I can't just bring one of the most hated hunters back from the dead and let his brother have ten years on top of that. I know how much damage you boys can do in ten years. It's not good for business.”

“Dean, think about this,” Sam cautioned his brother. “We need more time."

“Five years,” bargained Dean, narrowing his eyes at the demon.

The anger dissipated as soon as it came, and the Crowley they’d been dealing with moments before, the demon that could talk you into anything he wanted, was back. “One year. It's the best deal you’re gonna get. Hell, it's the only deal you are going to get. I have all of my demons on strict orders not to go anywhere near you. One year, and then it’s time to collect. It's a lot longer than your daddy ever got."

Dean had to handed to the demon, he sure knew how to kick a man when he was down. But he was right, John Winchester didn’t even get a day. With this deal, Dean would would at least get one year on his already borrowed life.

This really wasn’t going as planned. Sam could see what his brother was thinking and he gripped his brother’s shoulder, without knowing if Dean would even feel it. "He's playing you, Dean. Don't take that deal."

A thunder in the distance broke Dean out of the trace he had fallen in. Looking up, Dean could see that the sky had gotten darker since he left Bobby’s cabin, a storm threatening in the dark, swirling clouds. He couldn’t help but wonder how much time had passed since he got there. Another clap of thunder was heard and Dean saw the lightning strike across the sky in the distance.

Looking back over to Crowley, Dean noticed that the demon was looking up at the sky too with a hint of worry on his face. It was there for just a moment before Crowley looked down again. _‘Surely a demon wasn’t afraid of lightning,’_ thought Dean.

“Darling, sometime today. You’re not the only game in town and I have others in need of my services,” Crowley huffed out at him. “This is your one shot.” Crowley dropped his gaze, meeting Dean’s eyes as the deep brown flooded blood red, showing Dean exactly what he was dealing with. “Take it or leave it.”

“There’s no other way,” Dean whispered into the air, directing his comment to Sam though he didn’t know if his brother was still there anymore. “We don’t have time to find something else. It’s now or never.”

Dean turned his green eyes on Crowley, sizing him up. There was nothing about this that made Dean feel good, other than getting Sammy back. He was backed into a corner, his hands were tied, and the demon before him _knew_ it, too. Dean could refuse, but then what? Sam would be gone, Dean would probably never get him back on his own. Giving up his soul for his brother’s life, there were worse ways to go. In reality, this was his only option, and he knew in his heart that Sam knew it, too.

Slowly, Dean stepped forward and took the pen from Crowley’s hand, glaring as the demon unrolled the contract and smoothed it out before handing it over. He shuddered as his fingers made contact with the demon’s skin and side stepped him, moving to the Impala to lay the contract on her trunk and read it over.

Almost instantly, Sam was there reading over his shoulder, his eyebrows coming together in a frown like they usually did when Sam read something he didn’t like, when he was wracking his brain for a plan to fix it. Dean swallowed hard and glanced over at Sam, still reading. This was worth it, he decided. He was luckier than their father had been, he would get an entire year to help Sam be happy and get ready to let him go. He looked back down at the pages before them.

It was all there in black on white. The Soul of one Sam Winchester to be returned to his healed body in exchange for The Soul of one Dean Winchester to be retrieved in One Years Time as Property of Hell. One Dean Winchester will be indebted One Favor of Crowley, King of the Crossroad’s choosing to be paid in full upon request.

Dean felt a cold breeze run down his back as he read over the words; he knew what it was going to say, but seeing it on paper made it all too real.

His brother was so busy reading everything over and over again, trying to find even the tiniest loophole, that he didn’t notice the fine print on the bottom of the paper.

_Contract to be paid in full; breach of this contract in any parts will require The Soul of Sam Winchester to be returned from whence it came, his body left decomposing where it stands, and The Soul of Dean Winchester freed until Hell comes for him_.

Dean noticed though. In fact, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from it. How Sam hadn’t noticed it by now was beyond him... Their entire plan was to make a deal with the Crossroad demon and then get him out of it as soon as they could. For just a moment, Dean looked up and his eyes met Crowley’s. That was all Dean needed to know that the King of the Crossroads had known all along about their little plan to get Dean out of the deal and that he knew Dean would still go through with the deal, despite of it. Maybe the reason Sam hadn’t noticed that clause was simply because he couldn’t see it, only Dean could. Crowley knew Sam would put up a fight, would demand Dean refuse, if he knew so Crowley made it so only Dean would see it.

“The part about the favor is really sketchy, Dean. I don’t like this,” said Sam, as he read through the contract again. Next to him, Dean heard Crowley impatiently shifting on his feet.

“I know but we don’t have a choice,” said Dean to his brother before he turned towards Crowley. “I’m just making sure what you promised is actually what you promised.” Dean met his eyes before he raised the pen to the contract. In a few quick strokes, he signed his name and with that, his soul away. “There. It’s done.”

Turning back towards his brother, Dean reached out to pull Sam into a hug, only to be met with the same feeling he got when he touched someone that had passed away. “What the hell!” Spinning around, Dean got right up into Crowley's face. “You said you would bring him back!”

“Not so fast,” Crowley said with a smirk. He held up his hand, stopping the tirade that was threatening to spill from Dean’s lips. “The contract is indeed signed, but the deal hasn’t been made. I always seal my deals with a kiss.”

“A what?” Dean asked in disbelief. “No way am I kissing you.”

“Are you really willing to throw your brother’s life away over just one little kiss?” asked Crowley as he adjusted his hold on the contract, making it so that he could easily tear it up with one swift movement.

“Just one kiss?” asked Dean as he glanced over to his brother.

“Yes, one little kiss on the lips,” Crowley purred at him, enjoying the sight of Dean standing there as the realization washed over him of what was required to seal the deal.

Dean’s shoulders fell as he hung his head. Demons, there was always a catch with them. He should’ve known it wouldn’t be as simple as signing his very life away.

Behind him, he heard Sam’s sharp intake of breath. “Dean, come on… it’s a sign, okay? You can back out, you don’t have to do this!”

Dean squared his shoulders and met Crowley’s blood-red eyes. “Yeah, Sam, I do.” Ignoring Sam’s protests, Dean stepped forward into the demon’s space, repressing the shiver at the grin that spread across his face.

“Let’s get this over with,” he said as he steadied himself mentally for the final act of saving Sam. If only that damn demon didn't look so happy with himself. He steadied himself as Crowley pushed him backwards, Dean’s back hitting the side of the Impala as the demon caged Dean’s body in and closed the distance between them, sealing their mouths together in a kiss.

Dean felt hard lips pressing against his own lips along with a swipe of Crowley’s tongue over them. Kissing was supposed to leave you breathless, but not in the same way this one left him. He fought the urge to pull away, not that he had anywhere to go, as his stomach roiled and the bile rose in his throat.

Dean didn't know what pissed him off more, the fact that the demon was taking full control of that kiss or the fact that he had to bring his baby into this. One thing was for sure, Dean was going to have to give his baby a wash later, right after he took a shower himself.

“Was it good for you, darling? Because it was great for me,” Crowley whispered against Dean’s lips before he stepped back.

Before Dean could so much as catch his breath, let alone answer, Crowley was gone and standing in his place was Sam. _Alive_. Dean felt his body sag against the Impala, the only thing holding him up before Sam’s hands were on his shoulders, pulling him in for a bone crushing hug. And suddenly he could breathe again.

“Don’t worry, Dean. I won’t let you go to Hell.”

Dean bit back a sob caught in the back of his throat, pressing his face into his brother’s neck and holding on tight. Sam clung back just as tightly, and neither brother noticed it when all the lightbulbs in the street lights around them and in the distance shattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated as always.


End file.
